Musings of le Shmeep

Hmm...

2011-09-05T23:21:00.005+10:00

So it's been like...9 months? Since the last post? Life has been very busy and full of things as usual...and Sharon decided to post so I thought I might write something as well! Which is to say not much.

Things that have happened since Christmas:

Finished all my vacation work!
Turned 21
Spent a wonderful (now almost 11) months with a God given boyfriend...God's plans are so much better than my own!
Mega cleaning of shoes in the house
Gone to various camps that have been both challenging and fun
New housemate! :) And a lovely one at that! :D :D
Slightly higher obsession/addiction with pearl milk tea (Sharon's influence! or mine...bahahaha)
Went snowboarding in NZ for almost 2 weeks and (probably) broke my tail bone
Been inspired by how God's been working in the lives of various friends - those who I've known for yeeeears and also new friends!
Playing more guitar!
In the process of constructing my first robot :)
Getting to play with a physics experimental setup that goes down to 10K
Now an auntie (once removed or whatever you call them)

A few highlights. I'm sure there were many more but...memory really isn't that great (had to go through my diary to remember those ones!)

Work and Christmas

2010-12-06T23:22:00.002+10:00

Another quick update because it's past my bedtime!

Last 2 weeks have been predominantly working; it's been quite fun as the people there are nice, the project is massive, and I'm learning a whole bunch of stuff that's actually useful! It's just mildly tiring, as full time work = work work sleep sleep work work etc. Have been having stuff on almost every night lately too so that's been tiring, but apart from that, it's great not having assignments due constantly!

Christmas time is almost upon us and I am literally almost bouncing with joy. I say almost because the weather lately has made somewhat less bouncy...but yes, Christmas! I don't know why, but in the past few years, my joy has been increasing with every year come Christmas. I guess it's something about hearing all these carols proclaiming the coming of Jesus and God's glory (whether or not the people singing them mean it or not).

Just started reading John tonight and came across this rather challenging verse:

"I have come in my Father's name, and you do not accept me; but if someone else comes in his own name, you will accept him. How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the only God?" -- John 5:43-44

So simply put by Jesus, yet we all still fall short and crave the approval of friends, colleagues and family instead of seeking the approval of the one and only God who created everything. I pray that we may continue to strive for his approval only not be swayed by what the world says is good or bad :)

A little something before sleep

2010-11-21T22:47:00.003+10:00

15 mins away from my bedtime, and I'm reading through the church bulletin for this week. One comparison in particular strikes me, not because it is surprising, but because it really puts things in the right perspective:

The idea of standing in the light of God's holy presence with [our] sin 'exposed' is far worse than the idea of turning up for a job interview stark naked.

Our sin isn't little. It's massive. It's humongous. And it's downright unholy and shameful. Something that we ourselves cannot change, however much we may like to hide it even from ourselves. The only thing that'll fix it is Jesus' substitutionary sacrifice, made for us.

Is your name in the book of life?

_______________________________________________________________

On another note: starting 3 months of work tomorrow! Back to early morning starts :) Hoping it'll be a good 3 months full of learning, meeting new people and working as a (monkey) engineer!

Week 12 Uni

2010-10-22T21:32:00.004+10:00

So the last week or so has been ENGG, ENGG and ENGG. Oh, and a physics midsem. The number one thing I dislike about projects is that you can spend forever on them and they just don't care. If they don't want to work, they won't. Reports and assignments, at least, will be whatever you put into them.

Anyway, so while waiting for a go at the test rig this morning at 4am in the labs, I decided to have a look at how much time I've been spending at various places throughout the week:

On the other hand...even though the toil has been hard, I find that life has been going quite well :) I have been getting to know some of the other ENGG3800 people quite well (fellow campers-in-the-labs), and just being able to joke and encourage each other (at least secularly) has been a good experience. As I've been going through this semester at uni, the more I can appreciate the sentiment of Ecclesiastes:

¹² I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. ¹³ That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God.

-- Ecclesiastes 3:12-13

Tis a gift from God to be able to enjoy the ups and downs of uni, learning and doing ENGG team projects...because in the end, they're not the most important thing. Eternity is.

Hope you're all faring well in these last 2 weeks of uni before swotvac/exams, and may God watch over you in all that you do! :)

God: personal and living!

2010-10-07T18:21:00.003+10:00

Just recently I've been reminded again just how amazingly personal God is - not just a god who created the world, sat back and watched aloof the doings of the world, but one who is intimately involved in the lives of his people.

How amazing is it that the King of all kings, the living God, the Highest of highs loves and cares about each and every one of us! I must admit, it's also slightly scary but...wow. Just wow. Thanks God :)

A not so normal day

2010-10-04T18:59:00.003+10:00

Firstly, an interview.

Then, trying out the business-clothes-with-sneakers look.

Then getting half my face paralysed and looking funny when trying to smile.

I'm thinking tutoring might be interesting like this...but that at least is normal.

All in all, a not so normal day :)

On another note: It's October already! Time flies...had a midsem with a degree of relaxation, despite half of it being spent at uni. We're now on the final stretch before exams...4 weeks left to complete team project, write a few reports, and get 2 more midsems out of the way! And also a few more interesting weeks of Ecclesiastes 'everything is meaningless' optimism to top it all off :)

Spring & Joy

2010-09-05T01:51:00.013+10:00

It's spring!!! I love spring :) To hear the birds chirping, see the ducks waddling, feel the warm breeze and seeing the grass soaking up rays of sunlight and fresh clean air...every day, I want more and more to sing praises and burst into spontaneous song about how awesome and beautiful even this fallen creation is! (not to mention bounce around, but that might be a bit strange socially). I think the Psalms express this quite well....

¹ Shout with joy to God, all the earth!
² Sing the glory of his name;
make his praise glorious!
-- Psalm 66:1-2 --

Another passage that I've read quite a bit lately and been encouraged by:

²⁸And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. ²⁹For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. ³⁰And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
³¹What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³²He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."
³⁷No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
-- Romans 8:28-38 --

If God, the creator of all things, is on our side and loves us like no other, how much can those who are against us do to us? In the end, nothing :)

Tired

2010-08-17T23:05:00.003+10:00

I'm tired. So so so so tired. I don't mean mentally/spiritually, but more just physically poof. My brain still wants to go at a million miles per hour and get things done, but it seems like not having any substantial break for a while does take its toll.

So at lifegroup someone asked me whether anyone else was 'mothering' me...which led me to think, hmm maybe to an extent, but not really. Is this a problem? Perhaps I'm too stubborn/independent to let anyone really take care of me and do a good job of it.

In any case, my life and time and health are all in God's hands so I'll just keep trusting in him :) Woo for he who is infinitely trustworthy and holy and worthy to be praised!

Bee Ell Tee Plus 2010

2010-08-16T23:05:00.005+10:00

BLT+ this weekend was a crazy time, and by crazy I mean so in a good way. So many things heard, learnt, discussed, thought about in not such a long time = brain crash! Despite that, it was truly very encouraging to see so many people eager to serve and live for Christ.

I'm not sure how much I can write here about the weekend, simply due to the wealth of information and discussion that happened! However, I shall attempt to summarise...

Also, a note that the theme of BLT+ this year was 'Getting Personal: From Programs to People'

Talks (Eugene Hor):

As people, we imitate only that which we consider supremely great. Whether this is the awesome soccer player, or that incredibly skilled chef on TV, or that passion-filled singer, or even that friend of ours who seems to have a such good grip on life...as humans, consciously or subconsciously, we strive to imitate that which we consider to be great.
The more we strive to imitate that person, the more magnified that person becomes. Imitation is the highest form of praise. 'Wow, you sing just like Delta Goodrem!' gives praise to Delta Goodrem, not you. But at the same time, the closer you get to your idol, the happier you become, because you are becoming the very person you aspire to be.
God is supremely great. He, of all things, is holy and set apart. There is no other like him. Everything God does he does to reveal, magnify and secure the praise and glory of his holiness. In the gospel, in bringing us to himself and calling us to be like him, he is securing in our lives the greatest glory and praise we can give him, while we have the greatest possible joy and satisfaction in our lives!
How do we even begin to imitate God's glory? When God's holiness is like a billion suns to our meager candlelight, such that we can't even look at his glory without being blinded by his brilliance...how can we even start to imitate him? Jesus, in whom the fullness of God dwells...glorifies God and is glorified by God! In the person of Jesus, we don't just see God's glory, but are brought close to it and to the greatest joy we can know.
It follows, then, that the focus of ministry is to bring others to the glory of God, for nothing else brings God more glory and us more joy than us becoming more like Jesus.
Why do other things in life we aspire to fall short? Because only an infinitely great treasure can fill an infinitely great need.

Sessions:

Difficulties in Discipleship -

What does it mean to make disciples?
Is there a culture of discipleship in our churches, or are we all there just to be fed but not to serve?
Do we spend so much time 'doing church' that we neglect our non-Christian friends?

'Therefore go and make disciples of all nations...' (Matthew 28:19): The great commission is an enormous task, but we have this to encourage us: 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me' (28:18) and 'Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age' (28:20)

Ministry Mindshift (The Trellis and the Vine) -

From...

Thinking about a warehouse (stockhouse of leaders somewhere out there) --> thinking about a garden (growing leaders).
Running programs --> growing people.
Organising events --> training people.
Using people --> growing people.
Filling gaps --> equipping people.
Solving problems --> helping people progress.
One man show --> developing a team.
Focusing on immediate --> aiming for long term expansions.
Seeking church growth --> desiring gospel growth.
Ministry succession --> gospel succession.

Road map to growing people (Hebrews 10:24-25):

When we grow people to maturity in Christ, how do we know when someone is growing or stagnating? Three key areas in which we can keep a watch for:

Knowledge of God's word, the bible
Personal walk with God, reflected in character
A person's work for God, in service and ministry

The Ministry of the Pew (from Matthias Media):

What are our attitudes when attending church? Do we go to serve, or to be served? Is the pastor the only one doing the hard work? Do we go only because of the social aspect, or because we have to, or just because we have always done so?

The article we read specifically targeted the role of sitting in 'pews', or chairs (you get the idea!) in church - is it really serving others when we sit in 'our' spot every time, surrounded by friends, while newcomers get left alone?

One-to-one prayer and bible reading:

Encourages the personal growth of a person in their walk with God, and is good because

Convenient - easier to organise two people than a whole group!
Personal - can focus on individual questions and concerns, unlike in a group setting.
Accountable - much harder to meet up each week with one person and pretend to be serious.
Strategic - a basic ministry, and useful in many contexts. Wherever we go in our Christian walk, we can find a Christian with whom we can read and pray with. Some places it's impossible to gather Christians together, such that the only way possible is with individuals.

Mission Minded:

7 'types' of ministry in which we can serve the people of God:

Raising awareness
Initial contact
Pre-evangelism
Evangelism
Follow-up (for Christians)
Nurture
Training in Ministry
--> also, support of ministries

Holidays, and the beginning of uni

2010-07-28T01:33:00.010+10:00

So it's been a month since I last posted, and boy oh boy so much has happened. Feels like it's been way more than a month!

But, as a ~~short~~ long! recap:

Holidays:

1st week of hols - Kid's Club.

Amazingly fun and great week, just being around so many young kids made me feel slightly more youthful again!

Also, felt that God was looking after me during this week, as I started getting sick around Tuesday. With 3 more days of Kid's Club to go, I was pretty worried...pretty much, when I woke up on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday morning, my voice was always gone (virtually silent/rasping) and I would worry about how I'd be able to talk to the kids, sing, shout etc. However, every morning without fail...after (or perhaps during) the prayer time after devotion with Ps Daryl, my voice would be back! And I'd be able to spend the rest of the day singing/shouting kid's club songs and talking with the kids :) Goes to show how God is so awesome and sovereign over everything!

(Afterword to story...Saturday morning, my voice was gone as usual, and I was curious as to whether it would come back as on previous days a few hours into the morning. I had music practice that morning...but nope, voice didn't come back! Kinda felt God was saying "you don't need it anymore so you'd better rest it now...and yes it's only because of me that your voice came back during Kid's Club" haha!)

2nd week - recuperation and prep for camp.

Self explanatory...voice was pretty much dead and so did some prepping for MYC bible studies and doing up youth camp booklets :)

3rd week - SDBC youth camp + MYC.

Oh dear. I could spend forever talking about the camps...but I won't, at least not here. But I will say that I was thoroughly convinced and convicted by MYC's topic of mission of how very crucial a Christian's personal relationship with God is...that to reach out, our faith has to be built on a rock and not shifting sand. Otherwise the whole point of mission is lost if the focus is no longer for the glory of God. On another note, also loved the atmosphere and Christian fellowship...a week where not one sexual innuendo was made, no swearing, no backstabbing, no gossiping. It was just so clean, fun and in general enjoyable! Also spent the week with a man's croaky voice, which was quite interesting :P

4th week - getting everything else done, hotpot, outings.

Voice was still half dead but coming back, because it finally got to rest after a week of non-stop talking + attempted singing! Had a great catchup with Sharon, engg and some Somerville girls, which was very good :)

___________________________________________________________

Uni:

1st week (this week) - Inception, everything except learning.

Watched Inception with (half of) the engg crew, quite enjoyable although I can't say I'm as obsessed/fanatical with the movie as some people seem to be. Classes are somewhat boring so far, but the interesting ones start tomorrow ish so we'll see! 12pm start is the only reason I'm posting this now :)

PS. Colour coded this because otherwise it looked like a giant wall of grey text! Also, colours are awesome :)

Politics

2010-06-24T17:22:00.010+10:00

^{In light of recent political happenings, once again I am reminded of the fickle nature of people and the unchanging nature of God. How good is it that at least the ruler of the universe does not bend to pressure, or get into power games!

For, "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever." And this is the word that was preached to you. -- 1 Peter 1:24-25}

So near that I can smell it...

2010-06-20T00:14:00.003+10:00

I am, of course, referring to holidays! One exam in 3 days separating me and 4.5 weeks of holidays...if I were to assign a personality to holidays at this moment, it would be 'tantalising'.

I must say, now that I'm on the other side of the horrible 3-exams-in-26-hours, I'm very happy that I can say there's only 1 left! Although, I'm not sure doing 2 exams and then cramming 13 weeks of fields physics, all on 3 hours of sleep, was advisable...still recovering, and it's Saturday lol!

What else is happening? Not much I must confess; today was probably the most exciting day in about two weeks. Had 6 hours ish of training for kid's club, which will be in the first week of the holidays - kinda hyped up now! Had a turn out of about 60-70 leaders (mostly high schoolers), and it was great seeing how much kids club has grown since I went as a little kiddy back in 2000/2002.

But yeah, looking forward to a long, exhausting but great first week of holidays where God's love will be shared with hundreds of primary school kids!

Study study study!

2010-06-08T00:01:00.004+10:00

It is now Tuesday of swotvac. After today's massive catch-up-on-sleep...study here I come!

To be completed:

- 1 assignment

- 1 group project + report

- 4 exams + related study (ie. cram a semester's worth of 4 courses into brain)

Hopefully minimised:

- Procrastination

Related life things which may possibly happen, if above list is on schedule:

- SDBC youth social, bowling! :)

- Lifeline bookfest <-- maaaybe

- Birthday dinners

- Ice skating <-- maaaybe

Good luck to all with studying and exams! See you on the other side :)

3 years

2010-05-31T18:29:00.004+10:00

Yesterday: 3 years since that one day that will always be remembered, at least by some...

It's strange, how people move on. How life continues relentlessly, things change regardless, like leaves being blown about by a chaotically perfect wind. Some things will stay the same, while other things will be treated like they always have been. Some, however, will be like an explosion in the middle of a straight footpath; less a deviation and more a gaping hole, which must be leapt across to pass.

I'm not the same person I was 3 years ago, but I hope the important and good bits still remain and will keep doing so :)

Love you, mum ♥

New Template

2010-05-28T20:48:00.004+10:00

As you may have noticed...new template! :)

Not much happening at the moment, except for the week 13 assignment Crunch. Have to hand in about 5 between now and next Friday, although one of them got extended into swotvac :)

Random thought of the day, which really isn't that random: Christians = teapot!

Saturday edit: Am now sick. Worst time ever!

Recorder!

2010-05-20T16:37:00.003+10:00

So at uni, the past two lectures I've had for PHYS2055 (Introduction to Fields) has been about acoustics and how music instruments work! (You know, fields <=> sound waves etc).

The first lesson a girl brought her violin and played it, and we all analysed physics stuff about it. Imagine absolute pure enjoyment at hearing octaves and tones/semitones being spoken about in a physics lecture! I swear, it absolutely made my day :P

And then the next lecture, which was yesterday, the lecturer himself brought in his clarinet and oboe, while 3 other classmates brought in 2 recorders and a sax. And played! Although I am more of a string person than a woodwind/brass person...it was just awesome hearing music being played in a physics lecture again. Not to mention my lecturer is actually quite good at clarinet/oboe AND singing! I was duly impressed :)

The most interesting 'physics' point from the two lectures is how the human voice is both a woodwind and a string instrument - which for me was like, wow God wins again! Even though music instruments are so awesome, they are man made...unlike our naturally built in instruments that use the complicated physics from both sides of the family to give us our voices :)

I should go back to writing my physics report. Procrastination = writing this + picking up a recorder for the first time in YEARS and finding, to my surprise, I can still play! Played along with some of the primary school stuff we did in recorder consort...ah memories haha. Hope my neighbours weren't listening though >_>;;

Poo final 3 weeks of crazy assessment!

Assessment free = no sleep

2010-05-07T12:44:00.004+10:00

Funny...this past week has been my most assessment-free week ever since the 1st week of uni (only one small assignment due!), and so I originally thought it would be the week where I'd get to catch up with sleep and other uni work.

Instead, I've gotten home after 10 almost every night (and 11 for last night!), stayed up to do some work that I felt like should be done, and ended up being screwed for sleep anyway. Woooo! Maybe it's reverse psychology...

Well, hopefully next week will be back to normal. Looking forward to my break on Sunday arvo since there won't really be a breath of fresh air between now and then!

On the other hand: happy birthday to all those crazy people who seem to have birthdays around this time! :P

Sidewalk Prophets - The Words I Would Say

2010-04-25T01:59:00.002+10:00

Be strong in the Lord and

Never give up hope,

You're going to do great things,

I already know,

God's got His hand on you so

Don't live life in fear,

Forgive and forget,

But don't forget why you're here,

Take your time and pray,

These are the words I would say.

From one simple life to another,
I will say,
Come find peace in the Father.

20

2010-03-25T00:51:00.002+10:00

To the most important and loved and awesome woman in my life:

Look, I made it to 20! How I wish you were still here to see me - but I know you're watching, somewhere up there :) Love you forever and ever!

Awesome

2010-03-18T16:17:00.000+10:00

God, you are Awesome.

Welcome Home

2010-03-09T17:16:00.003+10:00

With the recent hype about the Backstreet Boys, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that one of the songs that I've liked on radio for a while (but didn't know who sang it) is actually sung by one of them! So here it is: Welcome Home (You) by Brian Littrell :)

When I left home to be who I am

Some people said "No Way"

But I laid it all down, gave everything

In my head rang the words that my father said

You're never far

I will be where you are

and when you come to me

I will open my arms

Welcome Home, you

I know you by name

How do you do?

I shine because of you today

So come and sit down

Tell me how you are

I know son, it's good just to see your face.

When I look at you holding my heart

I will give to you all that I have

Son I know there'll be times

You will feel all alone

I will share with you the words my father said

You're never far

I will be where you are

and when you come to me

You can bet I will open my arms

Welcome Home, you

I know you by name

How do you do?

I shine because of you today

So come and sit down

Tell me how you are

I know son, it's good just to see your face

Said I've been waiting for that day

Just to feel your warm embrace

Your love has shown

I will never be alone

You will welcome me home

I'll forever be

You will say to me

Welcome Home, you

I know you by name

How do you do?

I shine because of you today

So come and sit down

Tell me how you are

I know son, it's good just to see your face

When I left home to be who I am

Some people said "No Way"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5dvRpZ_a6c

Some days I wish I could hear those words when I get home everyday...but how much more awesome is it that we have a heavenly Father who loves us so much, and welcomes us to his kingdom with open arms? :)

Living For Your Glory

2010-02-20T23:23:00.002+10:00

One of my new favourite worship songs :)

What good is it to gain the whole world

But lose your soul?

What good is it to make a sweet sound

But remain proud?

In view of God's mercy

I offer my all

Take my life, let it be everything, all of me

Here I am, use me for Your glory

In everything I say and do, let my life honour You

Here I am, living for Your glory

The road I'm on it leads nowhere without You

And life I'm living finds meaning, in surrender

In view of God's mercy

I offer my all

Seeking first the Kingdom

Seeking first the Kingdom of my Lord

Seeking first the Kingdom

Seeking first the Kingdom of my Lord

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-j7h0RiuNE

Melbourne!

2010-02-03T23:14:00.004+10:00

Sooo it's been a few days since we got back from Melbourne, and because it was such a fun holiday I feel that it deserves a post. It was a great week for just pure relaxation, hanging out with the SDBC guys and doing some fun tourist-ing! I won't go into too much detail because I'm just plain lazy, but here's a summary of what we did:

Walked around city for like gazillions, think we did like 20km in the first day. (yay my tummy's flab has gone down haha)
Went to see the melbourne museum and science centre. Wooo for free entry lol :) and kiddy activities!
Went out for dinner with cousins who I haven't seen for quite a few years - good catch up and fooood
Great ocean road = awesome views, great fellowship + roadtripping (+ sunburn) and generally a great time. It also reminded me of how awesomely awesome God is, and how wonderful it is that the same God who created such beautiful and majestic things cares about us personally too!
2 days of Rod Laver Arena tennis...top quality stuff, even though I'm not normally a tennis fan :) Was great seeing the sportsmanship displayed and great atmosphere.
Full day of shopping with the girls - good time for bonding!

Aaand that is all, for now. Fun stuff fun stuff, but now it's back to 9-5 work everyday and after 3 more weeks, uni! As with all new years, there's always new stuff to look forward to and commitments to make/reconsider. But, I'm pumped and energized for the new year soo we'll see what this year brings!

Sometimes, I just wish I was normal

2010-01-03T14:11:00.003+10:00

Disclaimer: whiny post!

So it's 2010, and the last day of 2 weeks of holidays before I chuff off to work tomorrow again. After spending about 1 week with my dad and aunt who came back from HK, there's been random times that I just...wish I was more normal.

Normal as in being able to enjoy the simple company of a family during mealtimes.

Or normal as in people who live with you, talk to you throughout the day, eat together and do things with.

Or normal meaning that when I say doing stuff with 'the family', it doesn't immediately imply relatives that have flown in from overseas.

Or perhaps, normal as in not having to do grocery shopping every week when friends go out and have fun or spend time together.

But then again, there's so much that I do have and am grateful for, so I'm probably complaining for the sake of complaining.

/whine

On another note, to anyone who still reads this, hope you had a great Christmas and New Year! :)

Difference between Christianity and other religions?

2009-09-23T14:06:00.008+10:00

Pastor Daryl told us a story on Sunday about a pastor who was asked what the difference between Christianity and all the other world religions was. This pastor, who at that moment had one foot on a ladder and the other foot on a boat he was getting into, didn't have the time for a long and lengthy explanation.

His reply?

The difference between Christianity and other religions....is the difference between 'done' and 'do'.

I've been reflecting on these words, and have to agree with how absolutely true they are. I remember I used to struggle with finding the difference between the religions, trying to find something distinctive. I remember thinking "sure they may have different ways, but in the end it's all about the same thing, right?"

But then as I examined the claims of the different religions, I was struck by a somewhat startling fact: all the beliefs and religions I came across, barring Christianity, was all about what you could do to make life better for yourself. Whether it was being 'enlightened', or being 'in peace', or 'this is how you be a good person'...the main message that came across was this is what you can do for yourself.

I'm not talking about just the major religions here, but even all the new age beliefs that are springing up everywhere - in our current culture, where spirituality seems to be a good thing, there is this prevailing idea that if you do this, that and the other, you will have a good life. And maybe some of them are true, in that the things they tell you to do will have good consequences in life. The message seems to be to believe in yourself, think good things about yourself, and stuff will be good for you.

But then I came upon Christianity...where the work's already been done! Saved not because of how polite you are to your parents, not because of how diligent you are at your schoolwork, not because of nice you are to people, not because of how good a person you are...but because God came to Earth, as Jesus, and took our punishment upon himself in his death. And we are saved if we confess that we are, after all, not good but bad people, and accept that sacrifice.

I must say, I can see the attraction of the other religions/beliefs. There's a feeling of accomplishment and pride that you can make things better for yourself, by yourself. Being told that we have the power to change things for the better, that we have the power to change the world - who doesn't want to hear that?

But in the weighing up of all these different religions, there was one thing that kept coming back to me: we are not God. We can't change the world. If we told the Earth to stop spinning, the Earth would not. The beauty of nature - of blue skies and sun, of waterfalls and rainforests - try as I might to convince myself, I cannot make them. And, as much a good person I would like to believe myself to be, I know there's lots of things I've done wrong and bad things I've thought. Things that need forgiveness.

How freeing it is, then, to know that I don't have to pay for every single bad thing that I've done! To know that I've been forgiven, by the one who made everything good in this world...that, ultimately, is such humbling but wonderful knowledge, and I for one do not regret making the choice to accept it.

Ahh...relax :)

2009-09-14T00:11:00.003+10:00

A long week over, what with midsems and assignments and reports all due in the same week...what can I say, I'm glad it's over and can get back to 8 hours of sleep/night (hopefully) + being generally alive!

So, not blogging about anything in particular, although been thinking over a comment Keith made at UBT 2(?) weeks ago. This comment was talking about how we as Christians have so much to be joyful about (I think he mentioned something about how Christianity is the only religion where singing is a prevalent part of it? incl. OT times).

This was not the point of the talk, which I also thought made an interesting point on the Holy Spirit and its role in the whole scheme of things...made me think of the charismatic/pentecostal/evangelical positions...but more about that later. Anyway, at that point in time I was probably whining/complaining at everyone who would listen about what a crap time I was having at uni and generally being very down in the dumps. Keith's point that we Christians are, or should be, joyful people, kinda wacked me on the head at that moment, and I remember asking myself "why the heck do you keep complaining when it's only uni assessment, which in the whole scheme of things is really quite unimportant"? The answer, of course, was that I was being stupidly self-centred. Grr!

So, been trying to not take everything for granted and be more other-people-focussed :) I think it's awesome how seeing other peoples' joys and triumphs can be such a great balm to whatever worries there are, and makes me wonder why I keep thinking for myself only anyway!

Anyway, not quite sure where I was going with this post...oh well :P Until next time, ciao!

August

2009-09-01T00:19:00.004+10:00

So, long time no update because no time...what has happened this month?

RICE Rally (Brisbane)
RICEfever (Sydney)
Baptism!
BLT+
Winter decided to become summer for a week
A few birthdays

Above mentioned events...except for the last two, all were very spiritually encouraging and refreshing :) I won't expand too much here, simply because technically I should be sleeping or working and not blogging...but yes, August has been a busy month with many good things, of which I am very grateful and glad for.

Unfortunately, uni is starting to run me down as I'm sure it is for anyone else doing 2nd year elec engg...an unlimited supply of assignments that our lecturers seem to feel more than happy about giving us --> falling behind in other longer-term assignments due to weekly ones always being due --> doing late nights and panicking because falling behind so much --> not sleeping enough and not enough energy + screwed up brain --> repeat...

At times it's been very hard to remember what the ultimate goal is, and that it has nothing to do with uni and assignments. Every uni day seems to be a monotony of never getting enough work done, feeling guilty because of not getting enough done as well as not putting God first enough, and then beating self over the head for both mentioned.

Aaah. I'm so grateful for this weather. Everyday I can look up at the sky and the clouds and at the green grass and birds flying around...and put my mind back in its right place, at least temporarily.

And lastly: to all my friends, I'm very sorry I haven't really given much time to you lately, and that goes for everyone! I hope I haven't hurt anyone with my behaviour, but please know that it's nothing personal and I will try harder :)

[Note: I realise this was very disjointed and probably rant-y and not-making-sense. Sorry!]

Harry Potter, Fantasy Novels & Jesus

2009-08-01T16:20:00.004+10:00

Okay, so I haven't posted here for quite a while...but then last night, as I was driving home, I found myself pondering about the plotlines of various fiction books (mostly sci-fi/fantasy) and comparing it to the gospel.

Now this may seem like a very odd thing to do, so please attribute that to a strange brain. Nevertheless, here are some thoughts that came out of that:

[Note: Harry Potter 7 spoiler alert]
As an avid reader of fantasy/sci-fi novels, one of the biggest 'plot thrillers' is when a main character nobly sacrifices him/herself for whatever cause. Think Harry Potter, who walks out to meet death with love and in doing so cements the J.K.Rowling storyline. I'm sure every kid (or almost every) who reads that part loves how good triumphs over evil and yada yada yada yay happy.

Or think (here are some less widely known books I think...) of Fiona McIntosh, who's written several trilogies where ultimately the main character defies death (through magic or whatever), or Robin Hobb (similar scenario)...or even Transformers (I just thought of this one!) where Optimus Prime gets 'brought' back to the living.

I mean, I won't say that this type of plot = awesome book, but there's something to be said about it being quite effective in capturing people's imaginations and interest.

And then, I realised that this type of plot, written and used by so many authors, has in fact already been written. In real life. In Jesus. And God was the one who wrote it.

I have to confess I sat there somewhat stunned for a few moments when I realised this (while driving...I'm not sure that was a good thing!). God, who wrote this perfect story and had every single plotline mapped and planned out in a way that it all just fitted together...made it happen. We, the hapless victims that were being slaughtered by the 'Dark Lord', were given the chance of freedom because of Jesus' willing sacrifice for us. This act of love and his triumph over sin and death is so much more real than any Harry Potter book.

All this pondering led me to wonder...why do I so eagerly pounce on those massively thick fiction books to read 'awesome' plots, but find it so hard to read the real and original story with the same zeal and motivation? And why does the world insist on ignoring this story, instead of rejoicing and telling everyone we know about the gospel, like the people in Harry Potter did?

Would love to hear your thoughts on this :)

Communities...Christian and non-Christian

2009-07-06T00:07:00.004+10:00

Some of the events of today reminded me of something someone (a pastor? can't remember) once said about a church community in relation to any other community...that church communities are much more prone to conflict and dissent than any other community.

Why? Because a church is a bunch of people chucked together, with different interests, values, ages, backgrounds, you name it. The only common thread linking everyone is that all know and admit that they are sinners and confess that they need saving through their faith and belief in Jesus Christ.

Contrast this to any other community, and the unifying force will be people's interests, people's hobbies, people's backgrounds...where people can pick and choose who they want to be friends with and who they want to hang around with. People that they won't pick fights with. If they don't like someone, then the solution is easy: don't hang around them.

Add to all this Satan who would do anything to tear churches apart...is it any wonder that so many difficulties arise in church communities? No picking and choosing, and constantly under attack...which is why there is such a great need for Christians to continually support, encourage and pray for one another in love.

Don't ask me why I'm posting this, because I don't know...yay for exploiting a blog's purpose as a 'place to write down thoughts' :P

Holiday timeee

2009-06-26T00:25:00.002+10:00

Well, upon first thought of finishing CSSE2000 exam: YAY I'M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

A few hours later, at home: Free to do what?

So, I'm probably doing what thousands of people do and say that I want a productive holiday...but don't really know how to make it productive!

Apart from the much-needed catch up with lots of friends, a trip to Sydney, accompanying a fellow SDBC-going violinist in her exam, having dad back from HK, and hopefully helping out a little with RICE...holiday calendar is sadly quite empty.

So lately been thinking that I want to do some volunteer work, but as Sandy and I were discussing earlier, it's actually quite hard to find a suitable one. Sooo if anyone knows of any short-term volunteering stuff out there, please give a yell :D

Ooosh. Let's hope this holiday is a good one! :)

What is Christianity about?

2009-06-22T02:12:00.003+10:00

From the back of the church bulletin today...

What is Christianity about?

There are many different churches and styles of Christianity which can be quite confusing to enquirers but at its heart Christianity is NOT a religion but a Revelation and a Rescue. It reveals to us what God is like. He is the Creator of all matter, energy and living forms, especially us. He is personal, relational and Triune. As to His nature or character He is morally perfect, good, kind and loving. He is in a word: nice. As to His abilities He is powerful, all knowing and completely aware of all that is going on. He is outside of time and there He doesn't age or need a rest, ever.

Christianity teaches that in the beginning of human history our first parents/ancestors disobeyed God's command and the result is we are now separated and estranged from Him. All of us make choices that perpetuate this aloofness. Yet this God has gone to great lengths because He is willing to rescue us and wants to restore the relationship we have ruined.

Christianity therefore is not a matter of churchgoing, ceremonies, creeds or conduct. Although it embraces all of these in different forms/styles it is fundamentally about Jesus Christ and our relationship with Him.

Song - "The Lost Get Found"

2009-06-21T23:00:00.003+10:00

Just heard a song on the radio and liked it, so here it is: The Lost Get Found by Britt Nicole.

I dunno if it's a good thing, but I quite like some of these radio songs now. Kt will probably come kill me soon but ... yeah XP

Swotvac

2009-06-08T19:21:00.004+10:00

It is now swotvac...where we uni students are apparently supposed to study our butts off and generally work really hard.

Summary of my swotvac so far:

Slept in
Helped Josh with some RICE stuff
Played Guitar Hero
Went to church
Played big taboo
Played badminton
Watched movies with family friends
Slept in again
Surfed net, played games
Stuffed around on guitar
Played soccer

...as you can see, it has been extremely study filled.

On a serious note, I may start studying/doing uni-related work tonight...or tomorrow...or there's always Wednesday...

:P

2 years...

2009-05-31T23:12:00.000+10:00

2 years...

...is a long time...

A time for everything

2009-05-23T14:28:00.005+10:00

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under
heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather
them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Bye bye 100 bucks...

2009-05-22T22:49:00.000+10:00

Damn you, clicker.

Hmm...

2009-05-11T22:26:00.003+10:00

A kid asked Jesus, "How much do you love me?"

Jesus replied, "I love you this much" and stretched his arms on the cross and died.

Did the 'I love you thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much' phrase come from here? Or did someone clever just decide to put it this way?

Nevertheless, so true.

Happy Mothers' Day

2009-05-11T14:14:00.003+10:00

As a child you walked before me,
to lead by example.

As a teenager you walked behind me
looking out for my back
and being there when I needed you.

As an adult you walk beside me
so that, as two friends,
we can enjoy life together..

Thank you, and happy mother's day mum. I wish we could have shared that last paragraph together, but you're in a better place now :)

Crying in the Rain...

2009-05-09T20:26:00.004+10:00

...is a good folk song.

Actually, there a lots of good folk songs. I should go back to listening to them more.

MATH2000 mid-sem was today. Surprisingly wasn't too bad, considering I'd barely done any study until about 12 hours before the actual exam. Yay for cramming!

So much crap coming up sigh...CSSE2000 project is coming out on Monday, ELEC tute due on Tuesday, ELEC prac on Thursday, CSSE stuff probably on Friday...+ a final sprint for ENGG, which = lots of time.

So sick of everything. So tired. It seems like I'm good at doing everything except for the stuff that matters. Sigh.

Full fridge!

2009-05-03T18:27:00.002+10:00

The two times upon which my fridge is full: Dad is home, or there's a party.

In this case, the latter... :P

Mood LEDs

2009-04-23T16:43:00.002+10:00

Doing projects at uni can be quite fun sometimes...especially when you get to do special effects with LED arrays :)

Shoddy soldering...but soldering nonetheless

2009-04-17T21:49:00.009+10:00

Fruits of the soldering tute with Sarah today...

Le infrared light sensor. Added bonus: it works!

Hopefully our soldering will get better with practice :) But not bad for a first time I say!

Mid-Semester Break

2009-04-15T23:10:00.004+10:00

Things done this mid-semester break:

Lots of guitar hero
Went to church twice for Easter services :)
Some crazy kiddy games at Sallyanne's house involving 'poof' and 'spike'
Some ENGG2800 project stuff, which involved stabbing myself with a multimeter probe and leaving my USB at uni
Pizza with lifegroup + hilarious balderdash fun
Catching up with some high school friends, + DDR
Part of my ELEC tute
Getting sick (I think)

Things needed to be done:

Buying presents
Doing and finishing assignments
Soldering tutes + badminton on Friday
-Start- studying for midsem exams
Eat
Sleep
Magically extend holidays for another week, or more if possible

Hope you all had a great Easter! :)

Past week

2009-03-29T22:50:00.004+10:00

The past week's been quite busy...so I thought I might just quickly update.

Went from 18 to 19 on Wednesday...and was completely blown over by the number of people who care about me :) The texts, fb messages (that I have yet to reply to), surprise SLC party and birthday dinner made what I thought was going to be a pretty-ordinary-Wednesday a great one! So thank you to all of you :)
ENGG project: Good news - our LEDs, interrupts and buttons are working separately! Bad news - some idiots decided to misbehave in the labs and make everyone go without 24hr access for a week. Normally wouldn't be that great a deal...but considering that we have assessed team meetings this week, where we're supposed to have working prototypes (ie. hardware ones), that kinda sucks. A lot.
Sang for the first time in the worship team this morning. Wasn't that scary, yay :)
Good UBT message - application that we should remember that everyone is loved by Christ and fellow sinner, and that when we're confronted by annoying, irritating or frustrating people, we should remember this point.

So much stuff on my mind atm...gonna just quickly put other stuff down that doesn't fall in the above category:

Currently finding it hard juggling so much stuff at the same time. Trying to 'prioritise time' for things that are more important than uni, but at the same time it's off putting having everyone asking me for answers to assignments I've hardly looked at.
Finding it hard to set aside time for reading the bible everyday, which sucks. Bleargh.
Trying to organise a late birthday dinner and coordinating people's available times on top of everything else is getting on my nerves.
Wondering whether I've done the right thing in doing work during lectures, and then catching up on lecture notes later.
Still working at the mentality of 'not in this by myself'; trying to let God be at the top, not me
Doing things that need to be done - paying bills, replying to emails, opening mail, even eating meals to an extent (probably when by myself) - is sometimes quite wearying.
Some people have been saying I'm negative lately. Probably true, judging by the general tone of this post! This kinda sounds like what was said to another certain person. I hope it's not genetic? Wish you were still here :(

IT help indeed

2009-03-23T14:21:00.001+10:00

The bad thing with automated email systems...especially when they get stuck in a loop...

N.B. This happened with both my hotmail and UQ accounts...lol :P

Mum's O&G legacy

2009-03-22T23:40:00.004+10:00

One of my mum's colleagues emailed me this today (read paragraph 2 if you can't be bothered reading the whole thing)...so proud of you mum :)

P.S. Who's Anonymous? You don't -have- to tell me if you don't want to, but it would be nice :)

Too idealistic?

2009-03-21T15:04:00.005+10:00

It's now the 3rd week of uni, and I think most of us are already feeling the stress of all the assignments and tasks we have to do. It always seems that as soon as we've handed in a few assignments, a few more come piling in, leaving us no better than we first were!

But anyway, I've been thinking (yes, again) recently. Mainly about this not-enough-time syndrome I always seem to have. Why, I ask, do I seem to get this all the time?

One possible answer: it seems that I might be too idealistic.

For example, take the next few weeks. Got some assignments, committed to about 15 hours of coding and testing for ENGG project, and want to write up a nice Python summary for my tutes. Now, if we look at the last one...why should I bother? Why should I use up already precious time to do something for my tutees, which I won't be paid for? The reason, at least in my mind, is that I want to help these first years out as much as possible. I want to encourage them to learn Python, show them that it's really not such a crazily difficult task, that it can be fun, and basically do a good job as a tutor.

...doesn't really sound like the "I'm doing the minimum required for me to get paid, and that's it", right? Yet I hear this so much from people around me and in today's culture, that I think that maybe I'm just being too idealistic.

Or take the ENGG project. I could, I guess, do a mediocre job of it, let my teammates do some work, and not really play an active role in the team. I could focus my energy on other courses, since they probably need a lot of time too. But why don't I? I don't want to let the team down...I'd rather marks in other courses go down/get less sleep than let the team down. Now seriously, is that idealistic or not?

Honestly though, I can't see a way out of it. I can't see a way to make myself do less than my best in these tasks. Yes, I realise that I'm probably going to be sacrificing other parts of my life, including sleep (but hopefully not!), but I simply can't bring myself to not do things.

_____________________________________________________

On another note, having a birthday during a busy week is really quite tiresome. After all that normal-life-crap from everyday life, even more time has to be spent celebrating! When, really, sometimes all you want to do is curl up in bed and sleep. Not that I don't appreciate celebrations, and all the well-meaning and caring friends behind them...but dammit, I'm just so tired.

P.S. I'm really really sorry if I've offended/snapped at anyone in the past few weeks (you should know who you are)...yes, I'm tired, but that's really no excuse. I'll try not to again :(

Tutoring

2009-03-18T21:45:00.004+10:00

Had my first 3 tutoring sessions today, which wasn't as majorly freaky as I thought it would be. However, did have a few talking mess-ups, interpreted code wrongly in front of everyone, misheard/misunderstood some people's questions...and to top it off, had a 5-minute fire warning/alarm go through my first one. It's really hard trying to communicate/think when the horns are blaring at you, or alternatively, some guy's voice is repeating the same "standby" message for the 10th time.

In the end, I survived my first day :P More classes tomorrow and Friday!

Anyway, back to ENGG!

New Toy

2009-03-12T17:30:00.005+10:00

Just got this today in CSSE2000 prac...hopefully will be able to find some time to play around with it! :)

Recent thoughts on study and God

2009-03-06T18:21:00.008+10:00

Warning: Long, probably somewhat nonsensical and unstructured post.

Anyone who's talked to me properly in the last 2 days or so will know that I've been somewhat stressing over Semester 1. Particularly with the addition of 7+ contact hours/week due to CSSE1001 PASS tutoring for this semester, especially since I'm doing two project courses (ENGG2800 and CSSE2000) that will be chewing up heaps of time already.

Let me digress a bit. Something else I've been thinking about for a while is how to live a life with "God in the middle" (referring to Pastor Daryl's sermon from...sometime last year?) - the idea that life isn't separated into "religious activity", aka church/lifegroup/bible reading etc, and "everything else", aka eating/reading/sport/errands/study etc. Instead, Pastor Daryl said to picture God in the middle, with every single activity in life pointing back to him and being an act of worship.

Sounds great in principle, but at the same time, I wasn't exactly sure how my random daily activities would do this - studying, eating, reading, chatting to friends, playing/listening to music etc. I mean, it's easy to see the connection when I'm reading a Christian-related book or listening to Christian songs or etc - but what if I'm reading a textbook? How the heck does learning about impedances and ODEs, or even cleaning up my house, glorify God?

Anyway, back to my little tutoring-this-semester-with-time-consuming-courses-stress. Maybe I'm just reading too much into things or fully got it wrong (and please tell me if you think this is the case, would be greatly appreciated :P).

Is it a coincidence that I was asked to tutor a course that had never done PASS before, only had funding for two PASS tutors and therefore required lots of new guinea-pigging, effort and time in general? When I think about it logically, I can't really see why the lecturer would have asked me at all, really. And please don't give me the "you're-smart-and-got-a-7-for-CSSE1001-last-semester". That may be true, but I just don't see it as the real/only reason; after all, I in no way topped the class or was near topping it, didn't go to half the lectures, asked the lab tutors lots of stupid questions, crammed my last assignment and submitted it with 1 minute to go...and basically didn't stick out in any way. I can think of other people who were obviously smart and knew the course content like the back of their hand, yet they weren't asked. Compare me to the other PASS tutor, my to-be partner in tutoring - a guy who does IT projects in the holidays for fun, talks about a billion IT things with the lecturer while I sit there wondering what on earth they're talking about, is outspoken, obviously smart and knows it, exudes confidence and has had experience tutoring this course before. All in all, I just don't see how I could be a logical or good choice in the point of view of the lecturer.

But okay, let's just say there was a legitimate reason for the lecturer to ask me. I agreed...and proceeded to plan my semester out all very nicely. 4 days a week, would have the lunch times I wanted, tutoring would go where I wanted it to go, and it was all very nice and dandy. Instead, I got almost twice the amount of tutoring hours I had expected, with various ideas, PASS models and uni politics flying over my head. These hours will possibly make me either stay at uni later or take away my lunchtimes - and this is just contact hours. My timetable now stands at 27 contact hours a week, excluding any weekly meetings required for ENGG2800 and CSSE1001.

Not sure how other people see this, but it looks pretty impossible to me, if other activities (badminton/church/lifegroup/worship team) are all factored in. And I can hardly be expected to hole up all semester and ignore the entire world for study, right?

(Side note: sorry about this extremely long and badly structured post.)

Umm...so back to my earlier point about putting God in the centre. How does that relate? Simply, I think that God's working through all this to tell me not to try and do it by myself. Someone reminded me yesterday that I very obviously "liked and am used to working by myself". I'm not sure if this is the only-child-syndrome or whatever, but I guess that's quite an accurate assessment. I have to admit that God hasn't really had much say in my study attitude/habits...probably more because I really didn't know how to include him. So maybe all this tutoring and stress is his way of answering my "how?" Meaning that, as much as I'm tempted to, I'm not gonna grit my teeth, whinge all the time in my mind/out loud and struggle through it with lack of sleep throughout the entire semester, like I seem to have made a habit of. Maybe he's saying "how can I help you if you won't let me help you?"

Anyway. There's my thoughts. Congrats if you read all of it :P Would be appreciated if you guys could help catch me when I start lapsing into "can't-believe-I-have-to-do-this-on-my-own-whinge-whinge-whinge" mode. Don't tell me that "I can do it", because I've had heaps of people telling me that and I know I can't. It feels scary, knowing that I can't handle the coming semester by myself...but I guess that's what it took to make me realise all this.

Random

2009-03-03T22:30:00.005+10:00

I had a shower today.

With a lizard.

Not exactly, I guess, but it was situated about 1m above my head, staring curiously at this spectacle of soap and water that humans go through every day (I hope!). Although I'm not normally scared/afraid of lizards in any way, it was somewhat unnerving to know it was right there, watching my every move. Hmm.

After shower, lizard decides to suddenly drop about 1.5m from the roof into the sink, making a solid "thunk" noise. I must confess - I let out a little 'eek!' Surprisingly, it was not hurt in any way, shape or form, and proceeded to scuttle around some cups and toothpaste on the bench.

Aaaaaand that's my random story of the day.

In other news:

First day of uni today. Maths was boring, ELEC2003 had an interesting indian lecturer (in a good way)
I have sign-on at 7am tomorrow. Talk about disorganised lecturers =\
Met some ES people today. They were quite nice :) Also learnt the difference between 'evangelical' and 'evangelistic'...hmm.
Most of the knowledge learnt from last year's courses seems to have leaked out of my brain. Today, it was slowly trickling back in.
Am apparently the 'token girl' of our little electrical engg 'gang'. Oh man.
Choral fest tonight was quite good. Glad I went. Pity Gilmore wasn't that good though :( Osburn was definitely good though.

Awesome new course

2009-03-02T16:27:00.001+10:00

Awesome new course at UQ, just out this year! We should all enrol and do it.

Ctrl + Alt + Del

2009-02-26T21:49:00.004+10:00

Warning: rant post.

Millions of pesky, pesky, popups. Popping up everywhere. Try and concentrate on 1, and another 5 start flashing lights, clamouring for attention. Look at another one, and the lines appear blurred and hazy before another one jumps up. This one has a page of writing in size 5 font, looking like crawling ants that don't make any sense. Try to peer closer, try to make sense of these funny symbols and swirls, and another popup rudely interrupts and scolds that not enough attention is being paid.

Of course, buried somewhere beneath all these are the important windows, the ones that should have the attention. More popups. Pay attention to me, don't worry about the windows, they all say. Then another one. Running out of resources. Running out of resources.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I could go Ctrl + Alt + Del. And semester hasn't even started yet.

PTC-ITB Exam

2009-02-25T01:33:00.004+10:00

So, just did the ITB exam tonight. A few notes:

Half a page on the geography and climate of Palestine?!
How'm I supposed to remember who Anna and Simeon are? XD
Fully forgot what Deuteronomy was about, otherwise might have been able to avoid fudging about the climate of Palestine...
I got a bit confused between what Jesus did in Nazareth, what he did on the way from Galilee to Jerusalem, and what he actually did in Jerusalem (<-- that was the real question) Part marks I hope!
Totally waffled on for half a page about the 'pattern of restoration', wondering the whole time why I didn't bother to read it again before the exam.
David was anointed where?
There was nothing about Solomon, his temple, or any of the kings or judges :(
2-page long waffle about the promise and fulfilment of the Kingdom of God...yay for Goldsworthy!

...and finally, a very cramped right hand after 3 months of writing hiatus. (Probably 17 months without essay-writing, too).

Tomorrow:

Carpet cleaning! Woo...time to move furniture.
UQ Market Day, taking my dad and aunt...not sure how to time that with carpet cleaning
No more study for half a week! Wooooo...

10-minute Tablet Fun

2009-02-23T12:31:00.004+10:00

The results of 10 minutes of playing around with new tablet while on a study break...

Gah

2009-02-19T01:33:00.003+10:00

Gah.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:1-3)

Interesting Article

2009-02-17T13:49:00.001+10:00

"As an atheist, I truly believe Africa needs God" - Article here

Achievements of the past few days...

2009-02-11T00:08:00.005+10:00

Finding a ukulele in the bottom of the cupboard I was cleaning :D

Stepping on the sharp edge of the panel that comes off a computer case...slicing off a bit of skin on my foot. Ow. At least I didn't impale my foot on it!

Sitting down, hard, on something random on the ground, resulting in a sore bum

Totalling forgetting about and therefore missing sign-on and almost losing my tute

My guitar family of 2 :)

Some more interesting articles...

2009-02-08T18:54:00.004+10:00

On Hillsong:
This article is the result of two evangelicals who decided to go to the Hillsong Conference in 2006 to see what all the 'fuss' was about. Written logically and honestly...helpful if you want to know about Hillsong's "Gospel".

Edit: I think the section near the end is the bit that concentrates most on Hillsong's main message - paragraph that starts with "Tracking down the Hillsong gospel is not easy..."

Also something to think about: the defining authority in Christianity?
4 ways to live

In-ter-est-ing

2009-02-05T15:19:00.005+10:00

Two articles I found from a site with lots of helpful and insightful articles, TrueU.org

Seems to expand upon the BLT workshops a bit :)

In-ter-est-ing.

Letting Go

2009-02-04T00:17:00.009+10:00

Just suddenly had a thought about humans and our tendency to try to control our own lives...

Why are we so obsessed with having control over our own lives? Sometimes perfectly reasonable things happen and we don't like them just because they're not "according to plan". We reject anything and everything that threatens our stable little existence.

I was reminded of a quote...by the Joker in "The Dark Knight"...

"Nobody panics when things go "according to plan." Even if the plan is horrifying! If, tomorrow, I tell the press that, like, a gang banger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan." But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well then everyone loses their minds!"

I must say, that is true in so many situations. And no, I'm not saying that the world is chaos and nothing goes according to a plan. But we so often fail to look outside of our own little lives, so caught up are we with making sure that we do exactly what we want to do, that we are exactly who we want to be.

One thing that mum's death taught me was that, really, I have no control over anything in the world. So what that my dreams of taking future children to see their awesome grandma are gone? So what that I can't continue to be the same self-absorbed fool I was while my mum supported me? The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away...it's all His, and nothing is a coincidence. Everything happens for a reason. And if we hang onto the idea that yes, we ARE in control...we feel it when things don't go the way we want it.

So, I'm learning to let go. Entrust God with everything. Instead of asking myself what will make me "a better person", or what will "make others like me more", or even "what will make me a better Christian"...I'm going to ask God. He knows infinitely more than I do.

Maybe this isn't a problem with other people, I don't know. I have a major problem of stubbornness, of pride. Perhaps it's because I've been brought up to be independent, to always "stand for myself"...always me, me, me. For "noble reasons", or so I thought. But in the end, who am I to say what the perfect person is? Who am I to say that all my apparently-mature thought processes are best for all humankind? Who am I to usurp God's authority over my life with my authority?

God created me and my purpose, God created the world, he sent his Son to die for me and he has a perfect plan. Yeah, I knew that. When did I live it? Only when it suited me to.

So, no, I don't know what type of career I'm gonna have after I finish uni, if I finish uni. No, I don't know what type of person I'll be in the future. No, I just don't know. But I have hope, faith, and trust that God will work out his purposes :)

P.S. Flame away!
P.P.S. Happy 18th Birthday Sandy! :D

Lazy

2009-01-28T23:46:00.003+10:00

Elaine has a confession to make:

(no she's not a fish, Minda!)

...Elaine has been a LAZY BUM.

Jks :P

But seriously, I've been lazy. From the grade 11 and grade 12 do-too-much-stuff-and-not-have-time-for-self symptoms I had, I've realised that for some reason, I've become a make-excuses-and-put-things-off person. Sure, I think of lots of things to do. Sure, I say to myself (and sometimes others) that I'll do things. But when it comes to doing them, I just don't do it. Whether it be making excuses, delaying things or being just plain lazy...I probably spend more time thinking/talking than actually doing.

It's a pity really, that holidays make people lazy. During uni/school I complain about not having enough time to do everything I want to do, but when I'm given a huge block of time, I'm LAZY!

What the heck Elaine. You got your time. Use it!

Happy Chinese/Aussie Days! +BLT reflection

2009-01-26T16:18:00.010+10:00

For the first time that I can remember, Australia Day and Chinese New Year have fallen on the same day...so it's been quite interesting seeing Australian flags waving around the place along with lots of Chinese new year decorations! So good that we can celebrate both cultures, woo! :D

Got back from BLT on Saturday, and I must say that I agree with those who said BLT is better than BLT+. Not that BLT+ isn't good, but BLT does give a lot more time for us to get to know each other, partake in longer-term activities, more time for the information to sink in and therefore learn more.

So what did we learn? A heck of a lot. I'll summarise each thing here...

Morning Talks: A talk each morning for the 5 mornings we were there
Speaker: Grant Thorp

Sola Scriptura - by Scripture Alone - Scripture as the only, sole authority above all others.
Sola Gracia - by Grace Alone - unique to Christianity: God's love is unconditional. We are saved by his grace alone, and nothing else.
Solus Christus - Christ Alone - Christ is the only mediator between God and man. He is what the Levitical priests were but a shadow of. Also learnt that a "simple, uncomplicated faith is a faith in danger".
Sola Fide - by Faith Alone - faith is a solid conviction in God's work and character. Only by faith in Christ can we be saved..."Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us" (Hebrews 12:1).
Soli deo Gloria - Glory to God Alone - All glory is God's...not 99.9% His, 0.1% ours. 100% His. God works for us and in us to equip us in doing His work.

Evening Talks: A talk on each of the 4 nights we were there (with 2 talks on the first night)
Speaker: Gary Koo

God is our creator and father.
Our sin is what makes us say YES to us, NO to God.
Because God is fair and just, we face judgement. To not judge us/"let us off" would mean that He is unjust.
But God loves us, and sent his Son into the jaws of death for us.
We can know this is true and trust in it, for Jesus has been raised from the dead.

Gary also emphasised that we can never take these 5 points for granted.
Note: Kinda sounds like 2ways2live doesn't it?

Strand groups: meeting together with a particular group of other BLT 1st-timers (because I was in strand 1) once a day
Leaders: Sarah Cheng and Grace Lung from Sydney

Confusing - When faced with a bible passage, ask lots of questions. No question is a stupid question.
Context - Look outside the passage at the literary, historical and theological context to help us in understanding what's in the passage.
Content - What are the subpoints and how are they structured together to form the Big Idea?
Consequences - What implications/applications does this have for us in our "real world"?
Communication - How to write a bible study after having understood the passage, so that we can help others to understand it too.

Also memorised 2 Timothy 3:16-17:
"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

Workshops: A talk/discussion each afternoon where we separated into 2 groups, guys and girls.
Speakers: KeiYeng Nation (girls) and Ying Yee (guys)

Compromise, Image and Love - discussed the biblical view vs the world's view on these themes
Applications/Implications from our discussion about Image and Love. We concluded that it's pretty hard to be a woman like in Proverbs 31 or to love like 1 Corinthians 13!
How girls tick and why it matters - girls and guys were made different, and it's a good thing. Talked about the intended purposes for women.
Talk from Ying about how guys tick and why that matters! We learnt that we should pray for our men, and treat them with patience and gentleness.

Apart from all that, we also ate heaps of food (including junk, haha!), prayed heaps, got to know and enjoyed fellowship with fellow Brisbanite sisters and brothers in Christ who we normally don't see, played games, had lots of great discussions/conversations that were both insightful and encouraging, laughed a lot, took heaps of photos, had two birthdays (+ unblowable candles XD) and rolled on the floor laughing at the antics of strand group 3.1's hilarious BLT rap!

But most importantly, hopefully all of us will take something from the solid ground of BLT back to our own churches and use it to help grow others, encourage others and proclaim the gospel to the world :)

New favourite song...

2009-01-11T01:29:00.006+10:00

I feel somewhat like Sallyanne, having a "favourite song" :P

But yes. Steven Curtis Chapman's song "Yours" has been growing on me a lot lately...and I've decided that I really like it :D Especially the version with a new verse...very touching, especially coming from a father who lost a child.

Youtube link for song:
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=2Y_lHevMdpc

Lyrics:

I walk the streets of London
and notice in the faces passing by
something that makes me stop and listen
My heart grows heavy with the cry
Where is the hope for London
You whisper and my heart begins to soar
as I’m reminded every street in London is Yours

I walk the dirt roads of Uganda
I see the scars that war has left behind
Hope like the sun is fading
and they’re waiting for a cure no one can find
And I hear children’s voices singing
of a God who heals and rescues and restores
and I’m reminded that every child in Africa is Yours

It’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky to the depths of the ocean floor
and it’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours
You’re the maker and keeper, Father and ruler of everything

I walk the sidewalks of Nashville
like Singapore, Manila and Shanghai
I brush by the beggar’s hand and the wealthy man
and everywhere I look I realize
Just like the streets of London
for every man and woman, boy and girl
All of creation, this is our Father’s world

It’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky to the depths of the ocean floor
and it’s all Yours God, Yours God, everything is Yours
You’re the maker and keeper, Father and ruler of everything
It's all Yours

I’ve walked the valley of death’s shadow
So deep and dark that I could barely breathe
I’ve had to let go of more than I could bear
And questioned everything that I believe
But still even here
in this great darkness
A comfort and hope come breaking through
As I can say in life or death
God we belong to you

And we are Yours God, Yours God
Everything is Yours
From the stars in the sky to the depths of the ocean floor
And it’s all Yours God, Yours God
Everything is Yours
All the greatness and power, the glory and splendor and majesty
Everything is Yours
It’s all Yours

PS. Also a very touching song by Steven Curtis Chapman..."Cinderella"...
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=MLYxtuC0oRk&feature=channel_page

Clean-up

2009-01-10T15:46:00.005+10:00

Was cleaning out my wardrobe the other day...and realised that I'd either forgotten about the existence of and/or hadn't worn about 50% of my shirts for at least a year, probably more. How...shameful. When I have so many good quality clothes at home (albeit not exactly "fashionable"), all they do is sit at the bottom of my pile and be wasted. Blah.

Now that I have remembered them, some of them are too short to be worn...

What a waste :( Bah humbug to consumerism.

____________________________________________________________________

On another note, I have decided that before uni starts, I will be -attempting- to do a mass cleanup of my house, which will include almost all rooms, bookcases, cabinets, cupboards and CD/DVDs. And hopefully finish up what I barely started last year (Sharon, if you read this, you may remember the cabinets :P).

Ah I'm so screwed :P Anyone up for coming over to help sometime? (Probably February for that)

Clever/Funny Phrases

2009-01-08T00:50:00.005+10:00

Some clever or funny phrases that I've come across recently...

"Live simply so that others may simply live"
"My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely"
"History...is His Story" <-- Josh thought up this one
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." <-- I want to try this one :D

Hail to the New Year of 2009

2009-01-02T21:10:00.004+10:00

It's now officially 2009 (well, has been for almost 2 days, but hey!), and with this new year will come new challenges, new milestones and new people. I guess some people would call it a chance for 'wiping the slate clean and starting afresh' - whatever it is, it's a good time to make some new resolutions while reflecting on the year past!

Some things of 2008 that I've either done or learnt (in no particular order):

Got through 1st year engineering without any major dramas
Meetings lots of great new people at uni, and realising what a small world it is (with the help of facebook too, of course! lol)
Started this blog
Got my first car (and finally got to give lifts to people)
Watched and celebrated with many of my friends (as well as myself) as they legally became adults
Had to work with 4 totally random people that I'd never met before...and worked well together and had fun! :D
Went to Gold Coast for my first badminton competition in like 2 years
Took my first ever Biology class...but probably not last :(
Had lots of interesting conversations with different people
"On the 7th day, God rested"...learnt that rest is important, and people are meant to rest
Lifegroup at Yens
Got my first job coaching the Somerville baddy teams
Been greatly encouraged in my faith by some people/events
BLT+
Facing the past
Got to know some people better/more
Decided to legitimise music collection
First time learning how to ski properly
Did the most baking I've probably ever done at Katie's XD
Realised that being 'busy' doesn't equal being 'productive' in the things that really matter
Went to my first Asian country outside of HK...dun dun dun Taiwan!

By no means an exhaustive summary of 2008, but to tell the truth, the start of 2008 seems to have been sooo long ago that I've probably just forgotten lots of things!

2009 is now before us, so let's hope we make good use of it~ A very happy new year to everyone, I wish you all a fruitful year full of memorable moments and productiveness!

(P.S. I stole this 'new years blog post' format off Derek's blog, credits to him haha)

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T22:37:00.003+10:00

Yes, I'm back from Taiwan - and no, I haven't had enough time to blog so sorry XD

Sooo nice to be back! Taiwan was pretty fun and all, but being able to understand most of what is being said now is quite a relief :P Last few days have been mainly catching up with some people as well as super cramming Christmas cards/letters/presents. So don't expect anything from me til like New Years', because still have heaps of unpacking and other random stuff to do!

Enough rambling from me, Merry Christmas everyone! Hope you all have an awesome one with lots of cheese and butter...I mean, joy and laughter! :) And happy new year as well if I don't post before then!

Taiwan: Days 1-3

2008-12-01T02:31:00.003+10:00

Reporting from Taiwan! Spent 3 days here now, and it's been interesting learning about the culture here (and looking at similarities/differences to Canto and Aussie cultures) and good trying out all the various foods...even though Sandy keeps forcing us to eat more! Anyway, brief summary of what Sharon, Sandy and I have been up to for the past 3 days...

Day 1:

Lounging around in apparently the biggest shopping mall in Koahsiung and being tired after the flight.
Hot pot lunch with some of Sandy's rellies (who are really really nice!) where -each- person got their own hot pot.
Looking around Sandy's place (where we're currently living) and resting.

Day 2:

4 hrs of stationery shopping! Ahhh, nice and cheap stationery :) Although I didn't get as much as Sharon because I restocked in HK last year...lol
Got to experience the local food for lunch, which is good because normal tourists probably don't get to. Food was nice, and Sandy kept forcing us to eat more! (and kept shouting us too, zzz)
The fruit in Taiwan is MASSIVE. Massive apples, massive nashi pears, massive...fruit. I think Sharon took some photos XD
Went to the Shin Jue Jiang nightmarkets, walked around for soooo long...I think we have concluded that Sharon likes beads XD She spent like 2 hours in there!
Had this ginger soup-hot pot type thing for dinner...except I don't really like ginger :(

Day 3:

Taxi'd around and did some shopping at some shopping centres...but didn't really buy much
Went to Liu He, which is like a purely-food nightmarket. Ate foooooood lol. Oh, and nice bread!
Went bowling for about an hour in San Duo, which is around Sandy's place. Fingers hurt so much after it ><>

No photos unfortunately, I forgot to bring my USB-SD card adaptory thingo so unless I find one here or Sandy has one, no photos till I get back.

Hope your holidays are going well and fun! :)

And I'm off!

2008-11-27T20:58:00.002+10:00

Got about 45 more mins before I head off to Brisbane Airport --> Hong Kong --> Taiwan, so I'll just do one last post before I go :D

Today was alright, got myself a new iPod nano because my old one's been broken for a while and my dad said it could be my Christmas present XD Sooooo I actually have some music to listen to on the plane and while overseas now!

Also finished up packing...and realised that I'm probably less nervous than I should be, seeing as this is the first time I'm going overseas without proper adult supervision. But yeah, I dunno why but it feels like any other normal trip...maybe because normally I spend so much time doing stuff by myself when I go to HK anyway, and Sandy's tour-guiding us around Taiwan!

Not much else to say...oh, yeah, uni marks came out, and I got better than I expected :) Sooo that's good!

That's about it I think - hope you guys have a good time wherever you are for the next few weeks! I may or may not be able to find internet/time to post...so if I don't, see you guys on the 21st December XD Happy holidays everyone, have fun, stay healthy and stay safe!~

Page 56

2008-11-25T22:59:00.002+10:00

I'm bored, so meh :P

Rules:

Grab the book nearest you. Right now.
Turn to page 56.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post that sentence along with these instructions in a note to your blog (and on the comment section of this post).
Don't dig for your favourite book, the coolest, the most intellectual. Use the CLOSEST.

'The Bible says, "Use your whole body as a tool to do what is right for the glory of God."'
From The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

...lol. The things people come up with to use up time XD

First week of holidays

2008-11-23T21:10:00.009+10:00

Hmm, realised that lately my posts have been both scarce and not-that-happy. Sooo I'll just ramble a bit about holidays and whatever's been happening, haha.

Cheese fondue + board games for lifegroup: ah, this was fun. Cheese fondue is such an amusing experience! I think we concluded that, for cheese fondue to work, you need:

1 kg of grated cheese (thanks Derek!)
A very tall roof
Skills at rolling cheese
Skills at stabbing whatever unfortunate substance that gets wrapped up in cheese, including apples
Skills at fighting over each other's combined cheese strands
to know how to swallow a large chunk of cheese (lol Derek)

Fun times, fun times XD Board games was also fun - Last Word is such a fun game, especially when people are being creative. I still haven't heard one that beats Tom's "mattress" in response to "a letter starting with M under the category things women wear" though, lol!

It's been storming pretty bad lately - and while everything's fine and well when you're inside the house, I found out how scary it can be when I was in my car on the highway on Thursday. Massive rain and wind, so much so that even when I had my wipers on full blast, I couldn't even see the LIGHTS of the car in front of me, much less the actual car or the road. To be honest, what I really wanted to do at that moment was park my car on the side of the highway and wait til conditions got better, but nope, was in the middle lane! Also felt very sorry for two policemen on motorbikes about 2 cars away...must've been crazy to be exposed to all that rain and wind without any cover! But yeah, I hope none of you guys have been drastically affected by the recent weather! Keep safe guys, keep safe :)

Also went to Somerville speech night, was reminded again of something - the Somerville family. Other people have called me a snob/teacher's pet for liking my teachers and liking the school community in general, which I've always generally ignored, but the captain's speech reinforced that idea of family to me. Truth be told, the school's done a lot for me, especially under certain circumstances last year~ Soooo yeah. Apart from that, it was quite a new experience to be sitting in the audience of speech night for the first time in my life - and being able to observe all those processes that we know so well after 5 years of it! XD And I have to say...the Blessing. Lol. Please let Mrs Penman conduct it, because anyone else makes it sound really not-as-good!

Friday was baking day at Katie's! We made four different things - melting moments, cookies, banana bread and an interesting marshmallow-cocoa marble cake...which kinda failed haha.
Anyway here's some pictures:

Melting moments mm :)

Cookies!

Banana Bread...this was niceee

Presenting...the epic fail marshmallow-cocoa marble cake XD

the 4 cooks of the day!

On another note, can't believe that it's only been holidays for one week. Feels so much longer! Hopefully I'll post at least one more time before we're off to Taiwan :)

And it begins...

2008-11-20T03:01:00.005+10:00

What do you do with someone who is so willing to disagree?

...someone who is so willing to disregard everything you say on the basis of "different opinions and interpretations".

...someone who spins half-truths with every word they speak.

...someone who claims to be open-minded but in fact insists everything they believe as truth.

This battle will be long and hard...but pray that one day, the lost sheep will find its way and come home.

For now, praise God that He gave me the courage to start it...

Factotum #1

2008-11-15T10:08:00.003+10:00

Food for thought...

http://matthiasmedia.com.au/briefing/library/1855/

Thoughts?

Chibi

2008-11-15T00:10:00.004+10:00

What happens at Friday night dinners XD

The Case for Christ

2008-11-13T21:45:00.004+10:00

Good book. Good, good book.

Read 'The Case for Christ' by Lee Strobel today, and so glad I did! So many questions from the past and present that people have either asked me, or used as statements to argue for something else, were addressed in this book. Wish I had known what this book said a lot earlier in my life...apologetics makes defending faith so much nicer.

It's kinda weird, it feels like I'm approaching a battlefield. The tension, the apprehension, the anticipation...it's all there. Right now is the suiting up, the putting on of armour...

Really hope that I'll go into this 'battle' with the right attitude...and trust God that I'll come out the other side alright~

Holidays!

2008-11-12T17:41:00.002+10:00

1st year of uni is officially OVER! Wooooooooooooooooooo! *runs around in circles going high like a spastic chooken*

Ahhhhh time to relax from the seemingly neverending cycle of study and assessment! Because it IS the end (for now), as surprising as that may be.

Was thinking when I was driving home just before, these 3-month holidays coming up actually take up 1/4 of a year! So really should make use of them, since they do take up such a significant portion of the year...

Haven't really thought of what I'll do for these holidays, but hopefully there'll be some productivity (but also lots of relaxing) there! Might get those creative juices flowing since uni doesn't really allow for them...hmmm...point is, I hope to get some stuff done during these holidays XD

Aaaanyway, to those who are also on holidays, happy holidays to you! And those who aren't...good luck with the rest of your exams and then happy holidays!~

Pick and Choose

2008-11-04T16:26:00.004+10:00

A friend recently commented (about religion) that "the most important thing is that the person is comfortable with it".

Perhaps she was saying how it is important for a person to believe in what their religion says, or something along those lines, but personally, the words 'the most important thing' made me think.

Christianity isn't 'comfortable'. We're called to die to ourselves and take up the cross daily. By being Christians, we know we're going to suffer. We're constantly challenged to choose God over our own selfish desires. It's the narrow path, not the wide one, the only path. Yet we choose this path, knowing that in the end we will be saved.

So maybe my friend was saying that we have the right to pick the path we want...which is true. But we also have to realise that there's only one path, unless a person doesn't care where they end up in the end as long as it's easy travelling on the way.

On Sunday, Pastor Daryl also addressed this "picking and choosing what we want" attitude, using the analogy of jobs and employers/employees. The position of "God" is not a job. We are not the employers. Yet many people seem to apply criteria to God - 'God's not allowed to interfere with my life - he can come into my life when I'm in trouble, but only then. He has to make my life happy and good and give me money. He's not allowed to demand anything of me. If he makes me uncomfortable and doesn't suit me, forget it, he loses the job'...etc etc.

Another friend recently expressed disbelief at the notion that someone would "drop everything and do God's will if God asked them to", asking why a person would "give up their life" for God, as if such a thing would be a ludicrous thing to do. This seemed to me as another example of the attitude that "God has no right to usurp our authority over our own lives", and they'll only think about God as long as it fits comfortably into their lives.

My question to the people who think this way: Was it ever our authority to start with? Was it through our choosing that God created us? Who defined the purpose of life, the one who made us or the ones who were made?

2 down, 2 to go!

2008-11-04T15:37:00.004+10:00

Just did my first two exams yesterday - CSSE1001 and BIOL1040. Don't have much to say, except I'm really glad they're over, especially biol! Spent so much time just reading through back everything/revising that it's not funny. That, and it made me feel like my brain was about to overflow XD

Soooo two more exams, and then DONE for the year! Not particularly worried about these last two, should be alright haha :)

Before the exams...
The last few days have been so incredibly tiring. I don't think I've ever felt that exhausted/dead/worn out since last year. First was Friday, which was about 7 straight hours of intense BIOL study (with a one hour lunch break in the middle). Got home mentally exhausted, and got like 5 minutes rest before people came over for dinner. Did some study after people left, went to sleep early-ish I think.

Then woke up at 6 the next day for QG baddy. Originally, even though I knew it would be a whole day thing, I didn't think it would be tiring or anything since all I was doing was coaching the Somerville kids as they played. But omgosh. From 8am-4:30pm...virtually no stopping. I think we had about a 10-15 minute lunch break (free food!) in the middle? The rest of it was spent mostly standing/running around, organising the several teams of girls so that the right people/pairs would be on the right courts at the right times, trying to sort out silly things with the coordinators and trying to cheer/encourage our girls at the same time. = EXHAUSTING. Needless to say, that night I was pretty much gone - still mentally tired from the day before, as well as fully physically worn out from the day.

Aaaand then Sunday morning was tutoring! Oh wow. But surprisingly I was somewhat refreshed from the night's sleep, which was very lucky. And tutoring was actually somewhat relaxing. Then the rest of the day/night was spent cramming for CSSE and BIOL...and I have now reached the start of this post XD

P.S. Congratulations to all the Somerville girls who played QG baddy on Saturday! You guys tried so hard and were awesome :D Special congrats to the Open Team *hint hint Sandy :P* and also the 10B1s who took the pennant for the Senior Cs...hahaha nice work guys!

Sickening

2008-10-30T11:58:00.004+10:00

It sickens me to see people using the word of God for their own ends.

It sickens me to see the distortion, the half-truths, the concealments that are spun so 'honestly'.

It sickens me to see governments, large organisations of the world giving their support to these people.

It sickens me to see the thousands, millions even, of people who blindly believe and trust.

It sickens me even more to see those who know that something is wrong, but don't have the knowledge to refute this and so follow along like blind sheep.

It sickens me to know that I was one of these people.

It just sickens me. So much.

Not a leader?

2008-10-27T18:54:00.004+10:00

This is more of a question to you people who read this thing...do you think I'm a leader/have leadership qualities?

Why am I asking? Well, personally I've never thought that I do. I'm terribly shy when it comes to talking to people I don't know, I suck at making conversation and getting along with people in general, and I'm more often than not blunt instead of tactful.

But random things people have said to me throughout the years have kinda accumulated and made me wonder. Like in year 6 when Mr Lowe - a teacher that I would say knew me quite well at the time - asked me why I hadn't run for school captain. Or recently for swotvac when people asked me when "my" study sessions were being held. Nothing all that significant, but little comments that pull me up short at the time and make me wonder.

So, this is more of a question to you guys. Do I seem like a leader? By leader I don't mean necessarily a captain or executive blah blah blah, even just things in a group and so on. I'd say this is one of the things I don't really get, so would be awesome of if you guys could help a bit haha :D

I miss music...

2008-10-24T23:33:00.006+10:00

Todaaaaaay was the last day of uni class! aka no more lectures, assignments or pracs for 2008 XD Yaysorz :D

But anyway, tonight I went to the All Hallows' concert (I think it's a yearly one, like a combined Somerville showcase concert) to see Lokky sing and play in the orchestraaa.

And as I sat and listened and watched, one thing hit me.

...I really miss music.

I mean, I know I still listen to music and play the piano and do accompaniment occassionally, but there's a difference between music-by-myself and music-with-a-team. And not just any team, but a team where every single person is having fun and putting in effort at the same time - like Cantrice 2007. Listening to the AHS Chorale especially reminded me of that - the awesomely warm sound of everyone just locking in, the feeling of being a part of something that everyone wants to be in and working together...it's so hard to describe, but I'm sure some of you know what I mean.

I guess I also miss Amadeus Strings and Camerata and the music department in general, but Cantrice is the one that really stands out - simply because everyone wanted to be there and was prepared to work for it and have fun at the same time. Seeing (or rather, hearing) the fruits of our teamwork was such a great experience too - for one, I know that I don't have a great voice. And I never thought I deserved to be in Cantrice until the day Mrs Penman told me that I didn't need one to be in it...that the choir needed people who could FIND the notes so that the people around them could sing them out. No one was perfect, but working together we ended up with something much greater than the some of its parts :)

Another thing I noticed was an automatic assessment of the AHS music department, lol. And I gotta say, their choral program is pretty good! Strings/band have pretty good conductors...wish they had more good players though. :( Because potential and enthusiasm's all there! But omg omg I WANT TO LEARN PERCUSSION. Ahahahaha XD You wish, Elaine, you wish.

Anyway enough blabbing on about missing music. Reality is I don't have enough time...but I hope that this is temporary. Another one of Mrs Penman's wise but true quotes for me...(why does she know me so well? It's scary!)..."You'll be able to survive without music, and you'll be happy enough pursuing sciences and other academic things...but it will be like half of you is missing."

...and, after one year, I tend to agree. Engineering and science is fun enough, but tonight I was reminded keenly of that other bit of me that's missing.

Yawns...

2008-10-18T00:52:00.006+10:00

Been a while since the last update...been pretty busy lately, haha.

Today was productive! I did:

about 6.5 hours of straight CSSE1001 assignmenting (ie. python programming and documentation). One of the most last minute assignments ever! Due 5pm, submitted 4:53pm...lol XD hopefully that'll be one of the last times I do that, but since it's engineering, I dunnooo about later years!
my tax return :D Which wasn't actually too hard; e-tax is really helpful! So glad they did all the calculations for me instead of me trying to go trawling through statements and whatnot. Still waiting for dad to find his tax file number so I can do his though! zzz
some filing. Not much, but some. The stack in my inbox tray thingo is slightly smaller now haha.

Been sick for the past few days, lalala. At least it's not too bad; worst was probably Wednesday when I went a whole day of uni with a fever and headache, but at least I got through it and managed to do some uni work heh. Hopefully will get better soon!

Yeah that's about it. One more assignment left in 2008!!! Can't wait to finish the AVR assignment :D Hopefully will be able to finish it semi-early so I can have a few days off before swotvac study...hmm.

One more thing: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SALLYANNEEEEE! May you grow old and wise and get white hair and...yeah I'll shut up now. You know I love you! <3

Aaaaaand I'm gonna sleep now. Coaching tomorrow! Cheers~

I feel like an...

2008-10-06T23:40:00.002+10:00

object.

Meh. Must keep concept of Anyway poem in head.

...Keep running hard, I guess.

Ignore this post, I'll be fine by tomorrow I bet.

Legalities

2008-10-04T02:22:00.003+10:00

This post at Boundless Line and random other events have made me think about our tendency to rationalise everything.

Called the 'yeah, but...' syndrome at Boundless Line, it's basically how we do things that we know we shouldn't, and then rationalise it away with lots of 'buts'. Like their example of texting/talking on the phone while driving - everyone knows that we shouldn't, but does that stop us from doing it? I know that I'm personally guilty of that one, even though I try not to.

Or - and this is one of the 'random events' - CDs, music and copyright. Recently bought a few CDs from Koorong, and I swear the feeling of having 100% legit music is so nice. Also been trying to make it that all new music I get is either bought off iTunes, or straight off CDs borrowed off people (I -think- this one's legit, right? Someone correct me if wrong...). It's so much easier to just download stuff, and/or mass burn copies for friends who all want it. "Yeah, I know it's wrong...but it won't do that much harm and everyone does it anyway!" So have to get rid of this attitude grrrrr.

...personally, don't even know how to apply jaywalking. How to NOT? *dies*

And specifically at the "cheapo attitude" lots of asians I know seem to have in general, towards media stuff anyway...ok, so you can get lots of cheapo movies/CDs/other things from HK. Is it such a huuuuge difference to your pocket if you got them legitly instead? CDs these days normally cost about ~$20. That's say, 3 meals? Or one dinner if you're gonna eat at a mildly fancy restaurant.

Even though it goes against society's expectations (since, for some weird reason, doing these things is considered the norm), I'm tempted to say...just do the right thing. Personally for me, it's hard, and I may not necessarily "get anything out of it". But sometimes I think we're too concerned on ourselves - what I get out of it, what will make me happy, what is most convenient for me. Sometimes we should just do what's right.

Easy to say, hard to do...but in my opinion, worth it.

Human achievement and arrogance

2008-09-29T01:18:00.005+10:00

After reading this post by John Piper, I was quite struck by the concept that we are 'babies in a nursery', and that 'God has chosen to send his Son into our nursery and speak baby talk with us'. At first, I was somewhat indignant that he was calling everyone 'babies' and thus talking down everything that the human race has done...but then realised that it was exactly this attitude that was being addressed.

What significance do human achievements really have in the large scale of things? And when I actually thought about this, was pretty amazed (and felt somewhat stupid) for not having connected it all up like this before.

For example, that electron-positron collider from CERN that has recently been causing so much flurry - so maybe it's a huge scientific achievement. But thinking about it, what does it do? Simply put, it's an attempt to understand the world around us more. And who created the world and everything in it? God did.

We humans love achievement. Take the various people around the world competing to build the 'highest building in the world'. When it's built, everyone looks at it in awe and heaps praises on it. But how does this building compare to all the natural wonders of the world that God created? Would humans even think of trying to create a Mt. Everest? No, the most we'd do is try and climb it, and that's a huge challenge in itself.

So back to the "baby" comparison. We're just wee little children in God's world - and like children, we are self-centered. The things we do in life are just little games in the wider scheme of things. All the man-made creations that humankind is so proud of are simply little lego buildings, able to be knocked over and blown away easily. All the achievements we've made, all the things we're so proud of...nothing compares, in any way, to what God has done. And even though I've sung versions of those words enough times, it seems so easy to keep forgetting all its implications.

Jeremiah 9:23-24
This is what the LORD says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,
but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,"
declares the LORD.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't be proud of the things we do, or that we should belittle the things other people do. Because for human standards, baby standards, they really are achievements. But at the same time, we should always remember the bigger picture and recognise how insignificant the things we do really are in the wider scale of things.

Disclaimer: I am in no way trying to offend anyone (eg. CERN people, architects, etc), just trying to look at the bigger picture.

Seasonal

2008-09-25T23:17:00.005+10:00

It's been spring for about 3 weeks now, and every year that goes by makes me more certain that I am at least somewhat seasonal. Strange? Yeeeep.

Let me explain. It seems that every year, during the colder/wintery times, I -always- feel...hmm, how to explain? Less energised, more disillusioned with things, more antisocial. And having less interest in things in general, which includes people. Which sucks, because then I don't make the effort to keep up with the people that I should, and simply become some self-centred person stodgily doing whatever I have to do for uni/school/whatever. Which I really need to change, but it seems that during that time, I just have no energy o.O

But then, as spring rolls around every year, things seem to suddenly brighten up. Like just today, playing badminton fully reinvigorated me and I am now in some happy relaxed mood :S Seeing as I spent most of today doing BIOL1040...well, given the same situation about a month ago, I'd probably be in my own little cloud of I-can't-believe-I-have-to-do-this-leave-me-alone. Perhaps a little exaggerated there, but you get the idea.

But yeah. The past three weeks, I've just felt so much more cheerier, bouncier, relaxed and I think had a much better attitude towards things than, say, the last few months. It's suddenly heaps easier to get up early in the mornings too! (Which, if you know me, is EXTREMELY hard).

So I have concluded: I am seasonal XD
And for some reason, I keep remembering...was it 2 years ago? It was just about this time of the year, and I'd told mum how happy I was that it was spring. And then we spent the rest of the night in a happy-floaty mood! Mmm memories :)

Edit: found my post from last year about Spring. See, more evidence I'm seasonal!

01 September 2007

Guess what, ladies and gents...it's spring! *woohoo*

I like Spring. Even though it gets really hot near the end and I think I like Autumn more...but I always get into such a good mood on the first day of Spring. Brings back fond memories of exactly one year ago when I was happily telling mum that I felt really happy because it was Spring, and she agreed XD;; Of course, Spring also = NO MORE WINTER UNIFORM. Yesterday was the last time I'll probably ever wear the winter uniform (good riddance) so obviously we'll be all green again. Ah, nostalgia.

Reading back through posts is quite interesting...but I should continue BIOL now! It's due on Monday (yep, in the holidays XD)

Happy Birthday Mum!

2008-09-18T09:56:00.015+10:00

Note: If you get uncomfortable with emotions or death or anything related, don't read.

Many years ago, my dear mum was born into the world on this very day. And in the 17 short years of my life that I knew her, all the things she did has shaped me into the person I am today. She taught, nurtured, cared for, supported, encouraged, chastised, reminded, sacrificed, sheltered, healed, comforted and (a lot many more!) loved me. And I don't know how she did it, but somehow she managed to turn some rebellious, hyperactive, stubborn, selfish little kid into...well, I don't know. Someone who still has those qualities, but hopefully can keep them better in check now! And through these years, even if she had her own troubles to tackle and face, she would always put mine above hers, would always seek to see me happy even if it meant a sacrifice on her part.

As all kids do, I did genuinely appreciate all that she did for me - but never really did realise the full extent to which she did so. And I probably still don't realise it fully now, but I hope I have a better idea. I am truly blessed in having had her as my mum, and thank God so so so much that he gave me this wonderful person to look after and nurture me for all these years.

I went back through some things last night - letters, photos, newspaper articles. And once I again I was touched by the sheer number of lives she had touched in her profession, or simply as a person. Yet she never bragged about it, was always humble in spirit and had a servant heart. She wasn't perfect, she had her own ups and downs...but amazingly, would always put others in front of herself.

She was a gift in my life, one so precious and fragile. That I could have had this for 17 years is simply amazing, and I wish I had realised this more then. Fittingly, today is one of the days that I -will- stop everything to remember what a wonderful person she was; she deserves nothing less. If only I was able to be this grateful everyday of my life, instead of just on birthdays or other special days.

This is who she was, in picture/article form:

The awesome mum, from start
to finish

Not to mention cheeky...don't ask me where I got that from!

The beautiful individual, inside and outside

A best friend to some, a friend to many

To the thousands she saved

Happy Birthday, mum. I love you. May you rest in peace forever and ever~

Doh

2008-09-15T23:21:00.002+10:00

Is it just me, or is everyone getting really tired lately?

I know I am. Experiencing increased difficulty in getting the same level of concentration and amount of work done. And also an inability to stay up later doing work like before, which I guess is a good thing.

...must be the weather.

[Elaine Record]: Ability to sing a low B (two Bs below middle C) on Monday 15 August, 2008!
Must be a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I wonder how long it'll take for my range to get back to the E flats?

No voice

2008-09-13T18:15:00.006+10:00

Almost a week of having barely no voice has prompted me to realise how much we use it. The countless miming motions, opening-mouth-to-speak-with-no-sound-coming-out experiences, as well as the general inability to get anyone's attention unless they're within a 1m radius (that, or with huuuuge arm waving motions) has sparked some thoughts about a 'voice' and what it means to have 'no voice'.

The literal translation

You want to talk, but are unable to physically. As described per above paragraph.

Inability to communicate, physically

This reminds me of a recent situation a friend of mine found herself in. It was after school, and she was supposed to be picked up by her dad. However, after half an hour he still hadn't appeared - incidentally, her mobile phone wasn't working and so she was unable to contact him.* I'm sure most of us have experienced something similar, and may remember the escalating sense of hopelessness with each person/car that comes and goes.

As human beings, we desire the ability to communicate, to have a voice, and this would probably be a reason (if not the main one) for the increasing popularity of internet, phones and other technological advancements.

Inability to communicate, mentally

What happens when you have a barrier between two people trying to communicate - an age barrier, a language barrier, an intellectual barrier etc. This has varying degrees, but I'm sure most of us have had the frustrating experience of trying to explain something to someone who simply doesn't understand, or simply not understanding the language in which the other person is communicating. Wakarimasen...

Being ignored

Something I read in an Enid Blyton book many years ago comes to mind here. In a class at school, one girl was behaving very obnoxiously and spitefully (or 'cattily', to use Enid Blyton language!) The class decided that the worst punishment this girl could receive was to 'send her into coventry': the entire class would ignore her very existence, pretending not to see or hear anything that the girl did or said.
I think the nature of this punishment says large volumes about us as humans; we can't bear to be ignored, we need to know that we have an effect, a "voice", in someone else's life.

Voting

The idea that we have a say in what happens in the life around us (whether large-scale political, or small-scale communities) is so greatly appealing. We love being able to cause changes 'for the better' (doesn't always happen...), and being able to live the effects of our decisions.

Minority groups (courtesy of Anonymous, whoever you are :) )

When two groups have conflicting views, generally the group with more people and support will win. This seems to be part of the "majority wins" human ideal that I mentioned before in this post. I won't say it's right or wrong, but some of the greatest injustices have occurred because of this category of 'having no voice'...kinda links to the power struggle doesn't it?

I don't really know what the point of all that rambling was...perhaps to write down various things I've been thinking about lately into nicely organised sections :D I have, though, concluded that most of us take our having a voice for granted, and might want to treasure this a bit more. Are there other 'categories' that 'having no voice' fits into? What do you guys think about the concept and importance of 'having a voice'?

*Note about my friend's story: she ended up borrowing her friend's mobile and calling her dad. It's ok, she didn't get stranded at school!

P.S. New template! :D

3 parts amazement/gratitude, 1 part pain

2008-09-07T22:08:00.003+10:00

It seems like this little cold of mine has evolved into something slightly bigger in the past week. And I am ever so grateful that it chose to do this AFTER midsems, otherwise it would have been super crap.

It's times like these that I find myself thinking rather strange thoughts...for example, I spend about 3/4 of the time being grateful that this is only the flu/cold and nothing major, as well as feeling really sorry/amazed at those who have wayyyy worse diseases that may last heaps longer as well. And wondering why I'm such a weakling when those people have so much more to deal and cope with.

And then there's the rest of the time (1/4 of it) which I just spend being sick. I don't think I've been this sick since my very early early years...I guess it's about time I experienced wheezing, being winded from coughing and feeling like I've emptied my lungs - first hand experience, woohoo! Hopefully this'll be the last time in quite another while though, it really is quite painful, not to mention time and effort-consuming. And attention-demanding. Really wouldn't recommend it :P

(Aside: It seems like I have a lot more time to blog now though, since I can't do anything else, haha!)

You know what though? Quick solution if you want REALLY strong ab muscles...get whatever sickness it is that I have now. Serious. They'll get a major workout everyday!

Next challenge: How to coach Somerville students badminton without speaking. I managed to use mimicry on Sunday, but that was as assistant coach...

Modesty in Clothing

2008-09-06T18:52:00.003+10:00

Came across this pretty interesting survey that consisted of questions by 200+ Christian girls, asking Christian guys on their thoughts about various things concerning clothing and modesty. Some of the comments and results were quite interesting and surprising, and really does bring to the fore the difference between the ways guys and girls think :P

Personally, I thought that I generally dressed pretty modestly; this survey brought to the surface some things that I didn't realise were issues with guys, and so I'll probably try to keep random things in mind now.

Needless to say, quite interesting, so if you want to check it out you can do so here: http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey.

Anyway

2008-09-03T20:04:00.006+10:00

For some reason, recent happenings keep reminding me of this poem mum showed me about 2 years ago. So I went to find it, and found it: The "Anyway" poem. At the time of reading, I had had no idea who wrote it or how many people have been inspired or encouraged by it; all I knew was that it was one of the poems that really touched and 'reminded' something in me. It's also one of the few poems that have stayed in my rather limited memory ("Footprints" being another). I think it quite accurately sums up what we often forget in this world where 'majority rules'...what other people think of us doesn't matter. In the end, it's not about them.

Anyway
by Kent Keith/Mother Teresa

People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Be good anyway.

Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People need help but will attack you if you help them.
Help them anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.

Sick

2008-08-31T20:03:00.003+10:00

Yep, I'm sick. Juuust when I was thinking myself lucky for not having caught the cold/flu that has been circulating around uni and schools and basically everywhere too XD Ah well. Hopefully will be able to get over it quickly...particularly since there's two mid-sems this week (CSSE1000 and MATH1052).

In other news, went to Josh's (Hicks) baptism yesterday. Such a nice reminder and demonstration of what our priorities in life should be. And go read Derek's blog if you want to know the differences between Anglican and Baptist baptisms. Anyway, congratulations to Josh if he ever reads this!

Also will be starting to coach Somerville baddy teams in two weeks; hopefully, if Sandy's nice enough (HINT HINT if you're reading this XD), I'll be able to do Thursdays only (2 sessions) and not have to kill my timetable. Pray that God will give me the strength and time management (therefore non-procrastination) skills I'll need to get through the next few weeks :) While hopefully reminding me that rest is important! *doosh self*

To the year 12s: good luck for QCS! And everyone in general: good luck with exams and assignments and...life XD

Quickie

2008-08-23T00:10:00.004+10:00

Aaah and it's the weekend again. So many things I've thought about blogging about (still haven't done BLT+, that'll have to come later...) but insufficient time to actually do the writing...

So I'm just gonna keep putting off blogging about 'proper' stuff and just say: I totally did not realise I had so much stuff on XD zomg.

MATH1052:

Midsemester in two weeks, lecturer is not that good and falling behind.
Matlab Assignment 1 due on Monday, thank goodness I finished that.
Assignment 2 due the Monday after, should do that sometime...

CSSE1000:

Passed prac exam! ...not that it was that hard, but still. Motivational haha :D
Midsemester in 1.5 weeks, and I'm still really on week 1/2 stuff. CRAP. Study timeeee
Also falling behind in C tutes, particularly because of that Ekka holiday. Gah.

CSSE1001:

Just submitted Assignment 1 (due next Friday) today...yay.
Of course, they just decided to put out Assignment 2 and Assignment 3 yesterday, too. So much for a rest! AND the initial design document for Assignment 3's due in 2 weeks, and I still don't know what I want to do...someone give me ideas of what sort of thing I can program please!

BIOL1040:

eConference things. In a group with Sarah and Sharon, yay for getting a good group :) But like. I'm predicting it'll take up quite a bit of time, what with the group-work and the three pieces of assessment off this eConference thing...plenary lecture's tomorrow at 10am (yep, uni on a SATURDAY) so I'll be off to sleep after this post.
Normal revision: I've fallen behind, again. Module 2 I'm good with. Module 1? Pending. Module 3? Just not important enough...lol

Apart from that...well Kaleidoscope 4 was on last night. That was good. Community Choir was fun, and I wish I had more time to be permanently in a good choir. Oh wells. Prioritising sucks XD

Might also be starting to coach baddy at Somerville on weekdays too...I dunno how that's going to work. Probably sacrifice a bit of uni work or something...can't really sacrifice sleep since that's already gone ahaha. Such an unhealthy lifestyle. My bad!

Speaking of unhealthy lifestyles, it's about time I sleep. Hope y'all have a good weekend, toodles~

P.S. Anyone want to sponsor me for 40-hour famine? I'm doing food. And am going to starve XD

The right reasons

2008-08-12T22:32:00.005+10:00

...And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (Matthew 6:4)

Today's ES bible talk was a continuing of Jesus' sermon on the mount; while these passages are read so many times, they never fail to challenge or remind me of the many things I still need to work on.

It's so easy, in today's world, to do things for the wrong reason. We do things just so that other people can see us doing them. We do things, expecting people to praise and compliment us on how good we are. And while most of the time I hope I have the right attitude towards things, today's talk raised a very true point - that the challenge comes in the things we do best.

I'm not gonna try lie to myself. I know that there's times that I'll do stuff hoping others can see me, times that I'll do something just because I hope others will think better of me for it. And then there's the feeling-unappreciated-when-something-you-do-goes-unnoticed syndrome. The point is, these things shouldn't matter. The only thing that DOES matter is whether or not our actions have God's stamp of approval on them.

Today was a nice reminder for me, and hopefully I'll be able to have the right attitude when the time comes. However nice praise from other people is, it shouldn't become the reason for which I do things.

In other news: BIOL1040 sucks XD

The joys of CSSE1000

2008-08-06T17:24:00.006+10:00

Pre-Semester 2:
A new course, computery by description, some programming...yeah, sounded okay. Everyone has to do it anyway!

Week 1:
Oh joy, binary numbers! I remember those - 0s and 1s, right? Meeh simple enough...binary numbers can't be that hard, after all. Except that they apparently have different "languages" in binary too...I didn't know that 1001, 0110, 0111 and 1111 all meant the number "9" in different binary languages!

Week 2:
We're actually expected to do something with binary numbers? In other words - logic gates NOT, NAND, NOR, AND, OR and XOR? (and wth is XNOR?)

Well, I guess it shouldn't be too hard to handle once I get my head around all the lingo. It's all still just 0s and 1s, phew.

Week 3:
Oh crap, these 0s and 1s actually MEAN something? Damnnnn.

Who would've thought that something as simple as adding two numbers together (and this is for numbers 0 - 15 only...) would be so complicated? The results of today's prac...the circuit that can add two numbers between 0-15 together:

Maaaan. Why did/do people bother? Our brains can do the math anyway, right?

...I should've known. Subtraction's harder than addition...and it seems like this is no exception. What happens when you want something to add OR subtract:

To give a better idea of just how much of a wire-jungle it was in there...

Ain't it beautiful? :)

Well, at least it worked. Some people's didn't...poor things haha XD

Seriously though, today's prac has helped me increase my appreciation of those who first built computers. And how complex computers are. If something as simple as adding or subtracting two numbers looks like this...well, I can't even begin to imagine how people came up with all the things that computers can do nowadays!

Uni week 1

2008-07-31T00:30:00.003+10:00

Well, since the three ladies apparently are all now on blogspot, reading their posts kinda made me feel slack about not posting. Because of uni work, of course, but then again, I get tomorrow off so this should be okay XD

Sooo what happened today? Not much...went to lecture, came out, did some walking around, bought a lab coat, had lunch, more lectures, tute, prac...ahaha this is so interesting isn't it. I seem to fail rather miserably at the "let's recount what happened today!" method of blogging; probably because I really don't see my life as that interesting, haha!

First week of uni reflections (yep, I'm going back to my old style, can't help it):

I like my free Thursdays off. Full day every week to catch up with work! That, and now more of my weekends are gone because of baddy coaching.
Somehow I think I might like last semester more, in terms of courses. Right now, the two CSSEs are like...sit at computer, read documents, program, google stuff...all by yourself, because if you collaborate/share stuff with people then it's plagiarism! I really miss the PHYS1002 community...how we would all tackle stuff together, help each other out, etc. The good thing is that generally we've kept together this semester though, so that's good :)
COLD. Which doesn't really have to do with uni, but it's been freaking cold this week. I'm typing this with my gloves on (yep, skillz!) because otherwise my fingers would be frozen.

Also, playing for church service wasn't as bad as I thought it would be...I'm glad that I can serve God in this small way though :) Ah, stupid nerves and stage fright. Wish I had more courage...so many times I've been too afraid to do something for fear of the consequence, and so don't even try. Several people this year have inspired or are continuing to inspire me to overcome this though...so I'll keep ploughing slowly and hopefully get there one day XD

Random other:
In biol, we just got a new piece of assessment - the personal response task. And I am excited. Because it's the first piece of even vaguely english-y assessment I've had since high school, and I have discovered that I miss english! Among other things, like PE and music and etc etc...nostalgia can wait for another day haha. But yes, I am looking forward to writing this thing :D

That's enough from me for now...toodles guys, have a great week!

People that touch your life

2008-07-21T19:51:00.003+10:00

It's the start of another semester again, and already I have been reminded of some of things we sometimes take for granted. How is it that some people can touch your life so easily?

Went to Somerville Community Choir rehearsal today...and after a semester of not seeing Ms Brady basically every single day, I am once again appreciating what a great person she is. Just a few words, basic and light conversation; these few words were sufficient enough to make me feel like I could do anything I wanted, that the future is full of promise.

Anyone who knows me would probably agree that I'm not exactly the most optimistic person on the planet. They'd probably also agree that I tend to downplay myself and have pretty low self-esteem. So how is it that a few words from someone, someone who I don't talk to or see a lot, can make such a dramatic effect on me? And this doesn't just apply to Ms Brady; I can think of a few (and I stress, a FEW only) people scattered throughout my life who are capable of doing this. These people are, on the most part, ordinary people carrying on with their lives, just like you and me. They're not celebrities, or high-ranking people with lots of money. Yet they seem to see the real person inside you and believe in you.

Today was a refreshing experience - these few minutes, from a high school music teacher, gave me the confidence to continue in life full of hope. To all the other people in my life who also fit in this category, I really can't thank you enough. Even though we may not speak often, you have really touched my life in a good way.

In the past, I guess I have kinda taken these people for granted. All through high school, I was surrounded by supportive teachers, a supportive environment. One semester of university, and I already seem to have forgotten what a big impact they've made on my life, to only be reminded once again today. There's still so much I have to learn...I hope I can continue to appreciate people as the real, full people that they are, and not place them into nice little categories that are but shadows of the real people.

And, somehow, I wish I could touch other people around me in the same way that these people have mine. It's not success or popularity that touches people; I hope that, in a quiet manner, through ordinary and everyday acts or words, I can also brighten up someone else's life.

My question to you: What is the quality these people have that allow them to touch your life?

Random holiday thoughts

2008-07-17T16:26:00.003+10:00

Status of Optus network on Tuesday morning: down.

Now I don't consider myself as reliant on my mobile phone, although it IS very useful at times. However, it was on this very morning that I discovered that a dead mobile network meant:

Wondering whether it was my phone that was dying, and then questioning the quality of HK mobiles.
Walking halfway home from a train station that we weren't actually originally planning to get off at.
Waste of about half an hour's worth of planning/stressing/phoning the night before.
My first time using a payphone, which ended up useless anyway.

For that particular morning, anyway :P

In other news: all relatives are now either safely back or on their way back to their homeland HK...so now I can hopefully rest a bit before uni starts on Monday. Also, dumplings are nice. Especially ones personally made by me, Sharon, Katie and Bob!

I have also discovered that I like shopping for stationery/office supplies. Well, not exactly discovered, but re-remembered, since we went to Officeworks yesterday. For some very odd reason, just looking at all the stuff is oddly satisfying, and even more satisfying when you leave the store with some of it.

New things coming up this semester:

Biology, which I'm not looking forward to that much.
Community choir. I've missed music and singing so much...wish it was a larger part of my life than it is currently.
Coaching baddy, which should be fun. Somerville pride XD
Piano in worship team. Not that big a deal in reality, but I still think I'm too crap. Sighsorz.